Planning Ahead

By:  James Thomas


Disclaimer:  Y’know.


            Akane watched as Ranma walked off into the horizon.  She waved him a goodbye with a heavy heart.  He was only going on another training journey.  The only difference was that this time he was going alone, no father and certainly no fiancés.  She was surprised that their fathers had let him go alone without much of a fight.  He said he’d be gone for about three months.  She had asked him what he was going to do, but the only answer he gave was, ‘Training.  Hard, rigorous, torturous training.’  She had thoughts of him seeing another woman, but no, not after the way he acted after his fight with Saffron. 


            She hugged herself as she started to tremble with excitement from the memories.  Memories of the day he had told her he loved her, and especially the night that followed…


            Akane shook herself free of the daydream lest she get caught.  If somebody found out about it, there’d be no choice; they’d have to marry.  They agreed that they wouldn’t tell anyone, and they would live like before.  No one would be the wiser.


            About that time Ukyou and Shampoo came bounding down the street.  Ukyou looked around frantically.  “Did Ran-Chan already take off?”


            Akane nodded her head with a devious smile.  “Yep, already gone.”  And out of your reach.  She added to herself.


            Shampoo pouted.  “Shampoo want give airen good-bye and good luck kiss.”


            Akane and Ukyou turned to her staring daggers.  Akane finally smiled her devious smile again.  “Well, I’m going to go inside.  There’s nothing more to see out here.”  She turned and marched back into the Tendo compound.


            Ukyou and Shampoo shrugged and went their separate ways.  Unbeknownst to all of them there were two more pairs of eyes watching and wishing Ranma a safe trip.




            Three weeks passed.  Akane awoke for the third day in a row feeling nauseas.  Damn, this stomach flu!  Knowing my luck it’s probably some exotic disease I picked up from China.  She shakily got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom.  She opened the outer door and heard someone spilling their guts in the toilet.  Akane opened the door to see Kasumi standing up and wiping her mouth with a wet rag.  Akane looked at her sister, and then went to the toilet and vomited herself.  After she finished praying to porcelain god, she turned to her older sister.  “You get the flu as well?”


            Kasumi smiled one of her usual tranquil smiles.  “I’m afraid so, but I’m sure it will pass.”


            Akane nodded her head in agreement.


            The door slid open as another figure came bursting into the room.  “Out of the way ladies!  Sick woman coming through!”  Nabiki dropped to her knees and unloaded the contents of her stomach.


            Akane was shocked.  “This flu is spreading!  It’s a good thing Ranma left before he caught it.  By the way, where are dad and Mr. Saotome?”


            Nabiki pointed her thumb over her shoulder.  “When they saw you come down with the flu, they headed for the hills.”


            Akane rolled her eyes.  “Typical.”


            Later that day, Akane met Ukyou on the way to school.  Ukyou was walking along with her hand on her stomach.  She looked like she was flush and about ready to fall asleep where she was standing.  “You too?”  Akane asked.


            Ukyou looked at her with a confused glance.  “What?”


            “The stomach flu.  We’ve all got it at our house.”


            “Looks like you got the better end of it.  I was up all night hugging the toilet.  I couldn’t sleep a wink.”


            “Nihao!”  They both turned to see a very overly cheerful Shampoo.  “Spatula girl and Akane look like they sick.”


            Ukyou would have beaten her down if she had had the energy.  “We’re sick, Shampoo, stomach flu.  You’d better keep you’re distance.  It’s pretty contagious.”


            The lavender haired Amazon took a step back and put a hand over her mouth.  “Aiya!  You stay back!  Shampoo feel bad enough as is!”


            Akane raised an eyebrow.  “Why do you feel bad?”


            “Have keep going to bathroom all the time.”


            Ukyou rolled her eyes.  “I could have gone without knowing that.”



            After another four weeks, Akane was grimacing at the bathroom scale.  I’ve been putting on some weight.  At least my breasts are getting bigger.  Ranma will be pleased, built like a brick indeed.  After dressing she came down and found Kasumi smiling and practicing her new hobby of knitting.  “Where’s Nabiki?”


            Kasumi’s smile dropped a little when she looked up at Akane.  “Oh my!  She’s been in bed all day.  She just doesn’t want to get up.”


            Akane shook her head.  “She must still be recovering from the flu.”




            After three weeks, six people were sitting around the Tendo living area.  Nodoka was sitting with a stupid smile on her face looking at five obviously pregnant women.  Even with all the pregnant women in the room, Nodoka was still glowing the brightest.


            Akane was seated on the end of the couch.  She leaned on her elbow and rested her hand in her hand.  “Okay.  So how in the hell are we ALL pregnant?”


            Nabiki glared at her.  “So why are YOU pregnant?”


            Akane took a deep breath.  “It was just after we had got back from Saffron.  I was exhausted when we got back and Ranma carried me up to my room.  I was so caught up in the moment and he had just admitted that he loved me…well, I’m sure you can guess the rest.  So how about YOU?”  She returned the mercenary’s glare.


            Nabiki sat back with her slim smile on her face.  “You know those pictures I’m always taking of Ranma.”




            “Do you really think I could keep doing that without him noticing?”


            Akane thought a second.  “Maybe.”


            “You can’t.  After Ranma caught me the first time, the first time he beat up Kuno, he confronted me about it.  I told him it was to pay the bills and he actually volunteered to do more.  After a few sessions, I had the urge to take some male pictures of him.  After a while I asked him to take his shirt off, and after a while…Let’s just say they were some very hot photo sessions.”  She turned to Ukyou.  “How about you?”


            Ukyou blushed.  “He came in one night for some okonomiyaki, we started playing around like we did when we were kids, and the next thing you know, we’re on the floor going at it.”


            Akane was starting to get ticked off.  “I can’t believe he cheated on me!”


            Nabiki shook her head.  “He cheated on all of us.  How about you, Amazon girl?  When did you catch?”


            Shampoo had a huge smile on her face.  “Shampoo catch Airen in the bath again.  Shampoo was cat and cornered him in the bath.  I jump in and took advantage.”


            Ukyou was shocked.  “You raped RANMA!!!”


            Shampoo’s smile enlarged, if that was possible.  “Can’t rape willing!”


            Akane buried her face in her hand and shook her head.  “Okay, last one.  Kasumi, what happened with you?”


            Kasumi had her usual tranquil smile.  “You and Ranma had just had a bad fight and I comforted him.”


            Nabiki cocked an eye at her sister.  “Since when have you been comforting like that?”


            “Since I noticed how handsome he was.”  Her smile widened.


            “HELLO!!! ANYBODY HOME?!”  Came Ranma’s voice.  He walked into the living room to four smiles and two glares.  “Looks like everything came out as planned.”


            Akane’s jaw hit the floor.  “What plan?”


            “Me and Kasumi’s.  It was the only way to make everyone happy.  Plus it took care of my Seppuku pact with mom at the same time.  I also figured you guys would be less likely to fight each other if you were all pregnant.”


            Akane turned her shocked expression toward Kasumi.  “YOU were part of this?”


            Kasumi just nodded her head.


            Nodoka hugged her son tight.  “My son is so manly!”


            “So why did you decide to go on your training trip?”  Ukyou asked.


            “Kasumi told me the first trimester was the worst part of the pregnancy.  There’s no way I was going to be around five pregnant women fighting for the bathroom in the morning.”


            Whoever believed that a woman’s penchant for violence may be curbed with pregnancy, is dead wrong.  Ranma, being attacked from five directions at once, can vouch for that.


<Author’s Notes:  Here’s what happens when I get writer’s block.  I go straight to the gutter.  Another message from you friendly neighborhood sick and twisted fanfic author.>