The Bat, The Bird, The Horse, and the Tomboy

Prologue

“Airen!”

*GLOMP!*

“You JERK!”

That sequence was a common occurrence in Nerima, completed by the sight of a certain pigtailed martial artist being launched towards the outskirts of Nerima via Mallet Airways.

Tendo Kasumi shook her head resignedly as she watched Ranma’s form vanish into the distance. She had held such great hope for the relationship between her youngest sister and Ranma after they returned from China, but the only thing that had improved was Akane’s follow through with her mallet. It didn’t help that Ranma’s other fiancés had started coming around more often, antagonizing the youngest Tendo. “Akane, don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh? It was, after all, Shampoo who grabbed him.”

Akane growled under her breath. “Fine. I’ll go get him. But I am NOT apologizing!” She stormed past a glaring Shampoo.

“I do hope those two learn to get along better soon,” Kasumi sighed. She really wanted for her sister to be happy.

Shampoo walked into the Nekohanten. For anyone who knew her, this was very strange. Normally she bounced in, stomped in, or came in through a wall or the roof. The fact that she just walked in like a normal person set off warning bells in her great-grandmother’s mind.

“What is wrong, child?” Cologne asked.

“Shampoo tired. Shampoo want Ranma badly, but Shampoo no can get close to Airen. Violent-Girl always around or sending Ranma away.”

Cologne frowned. “I agree, child. This has gone on long enough. Tonight, I will see what I can do to finish this.”

Akane found Ranma’s landing zone, a tree with a Ranma-shaped dent in it. “Ranma? Are you around here?”

A muffled groan emerged from some bushes nearby. “Yeah, yeah. I’m over here. The coast is clear. Man, you sure hit me harder than normal, Akane. If I didn’t know better, I’da thought you were actually mad at me.”

Akane helped her battered fiancé to his feet. “I’m sorry about that. I was mad, but not at you. I was this close to hitting Shampoo with that mallet, so I’m afraid I put a little extra oomph on the swing when I hit you.”

Ranma rubbed his shoulders. “Oh well, I guess I’ll just call it toughness trainin’. So, how long do ya think we got?”

Akane threw her arms around him in a powerful glomp that would have made an Amazon proud. “I think we have about an hour. Shampoo didn’t look interested in following after us. I think she was just trying to make sure we weren’t getting too close.”

Ranma wrapped his arms around her. “If she only knew…”

Akane snickered. “Yeah. But that’s the point of this training. Once someone does find out, I’ll need all the skill I can just to keep from being clobbered or kidnapped.”

Ranma nodded. “Okay. It should be pretty safe to try the Demon God Assault Bomb. Now, you remember how to do it?”

Akane nodded and focused her attention on the technique.

A half-hour later, Ranma suddenly froze. Akane didn’t have time to stop the kick she had thrown, but she was able to pull most of the power out of it. Ranma glared at her. “You are sooo uncute. I don’t care what you think I’m doin’ with my fiancés, it’s MY business!”

Akane caught the code words instantly. They had figured out a way to alert the other when someone was getting dangerously close to figuring out their secret. ‘Uncute’ meant that Ukyo was nearby. “Like I care, you pervert! If you think-“

“Oh, just drop it you two! I’m not that damn stupid and I’m not in the damn mood!”

Ranma turned in surprise towards the young lady who stepped out of the shadows. “Ukyo, what are you doing here?”

“Having my intelligence insulted, for one thing, you jackass.” Ranma started to say something, but he stopped when he got a good look at her face. Her eyes were puffy and her face was a streaked. He could tell she had been crying hard. “Shut up! You may have fooled the purple-haired bimbo we all know and hate, but you’re not fooling me. I am not STUPID!” Ukyo was fairly screaming by that time.

Akane’s eyes went wide. “Ukyo-“

The okonomiyaki chef glared at her. “I’m talking to Ranma right now. Back off.” Before Akane could react, Ukyo grabbed Ranma’s shirt and lifted him off the ground a little, much to his surprise. “WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?! AFTER THE FIRST KID WAS BORN?! OR WHERE YOU GOING TO KEEP ME IN THE DARK FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS?!”

Ranma couldn’t respond since he was being violently shaken back and forth as Ukyo screamed at him. She turned and slammed him into a tree, denting it badly. “OR WAS IT ALL A SICK JOKE? WERE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ENJOYING THE MISERY I WAS GOING THROUGH? POINTING AT ME BEHIND MY BACK AND SAYING, ‘THERE’S UKYO! SHE THINKS I CARE ABOUT HER! Why would anyone want an ugly, cross dressing freak like her for a fiancé?’” Ukyo’s voice dropped in volume as she fell to her knees, her hands still clutching Ranma’s shirt. “What did I do wrong? What made me so worthless?” Her voice continued to drop until Ranma could barely hear it. “Why wasn’t I good enough to come with you ten years ago? Why am I not good enough for you now? Why do I have to stay behind? Why does everyone leave me?”

Ranma knelt next to her. When Ukyo didn’t react to him putting a hand on her shoulder, he looked up at Akane. She nodded encouragingly to him and knelt as well. Ranma put his arms around Ukyo’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “Ucchan, I won’t leave you. Even when Akane and I get married, we’ve talked it over and we want you to be around.” Ukyo sobbed as she made mostly incoherent sounds. Ranma continued. “You were one of the only rays of sunlight when I was a kid. Knowing you made all the hell my father put me through up until that point worthwhile. I don’t want to lose that friendship.”

“But why am I not good enough to love? Daddy used to tell me I was great at okonomiyaki. You used to tell me I was a good friend. But after you left, no one said I was good enough any more. I had to beg daddy to keep teaching me. He thought I was a failure to the family. I think that he thought mommy would have been disappointed in me. No one thought I was good enough to be a friend. They all thought that if you didn’t want me, I must be horrible.” Ukyo fought to keep her voice under control. “And then you called me ‘cute’. I can see now that you were lying. If I was cute, then someone would have thought I was worth something, even if it was just as a piece of meat or a trophy… but no one ever wanted me for anything.”

Ranma was panicking inside. He didn’t have a single clue as to how to handle this situation. He didn’t know what to say, think, or do. “Ucchan…”

Suddenly, Ukyo felt a hand on her shoulder. She glanced up and into Akane’s face. “Ukyo, you are not worthless. No more so than I am.” Ranma blinked in surprise at that. “Look at me. Everyone kept focusing on me. Almost every boy in school wanted to date me and almost every girl wanted me dead because of that. Kuno kept going on, telling everyone what a fierce warrior I was.”

Ukyo glared at Akane through the tears. “Oh, yeah… that’s a real heartbreaker. Being so popular must have been hell.” The sarcasm that oozed from her voice could have melted steel.

“I wasn’t popular, Ukyo. I was merely the center of attention. Everyone watched everything I did. The boys didn’t want to date me because of me. They wanted to date me because Kuno said they couldn’t have me. They wanted me for a trophy, for bragging rights. They didn’t want ME. They didn’t even KNOW me. They just knew my name, my face, and that I was the prize. Kuno told everyone I was a fierce warrior. Oh please… I was… and maybe I still am the worst martial artist in Nerima. And the worst part is, I actually believed him, which was one of the many things that nearly destroyed my chance with Ranma.”

Ukyo tried to shove Akane away, but the shorthaired girl refused to budge. “At least people noticed you! I could have dropped off the face of the Earth and no one would have noticed! Hell, I DID disappear and no one noticed! No one cared when I moved from town to town when my secret was inevitably found out! No one noticed when I came to town, except when I could feed their stomachs!”

“Do you think having all of that praise heaped on me when I didn’t deserve it was a good thing?” Akane’s temper began to flare as she let go of Ukyo. “I started to believe it! If Ranma hadn’t come along and shattered my perfect little world, I could have been just as delusional as Kuno! I would have been trapped in a fictional world where I was admired and loved by all! I might have started going around, spouting poetry and singing my own praises!”

Ukyo started to fire off an angry retort, but the mental image of Akane striking a Kuno-esque pose and proclaiming her prowess to the world was too much for her and she snickered. “Okay, you have a point there. But at least you have friends… I’ve only ever had one friend, and he doesn’t want me the way I want him. I have to believe that it’s my fault because it’s always been my fault. Ranma didn’t make people ignore me for ten years. So it must have been me. And it must be me that’s making him not love me. I’m lacking something that you have, and that’s why I can’t have him.”

Ranma started to open his mouth, but Akane saw his foot heading for it in time. She slapped her hand over his mouth and shook her head. “Ranma and I have been talking, and I think I can explain it to you better. Do you like any particular kind of okonomiyaki? Is there one that tastes extra good to you?”

Ukyo frowned. “I have a preference for seafood okonomiyaki. But what does-“

Akane cut her off. “What’s wrong with pork?”

Ukyo shrugged. “Nothing. I just like the flavor and texture of seafood.”

Akane nodded. “So there’s nothing wrong with pork?”

Ukyo shook her head. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion when Akane smiled at her. “What?”

Ranma finally piped in. “Ucchan, you’re pork and Akane’s seafood. There’s nothing wrong with ya. It ain’t yer fault. It ain’t nobody’s fault. You’re my friend. My best friend. No one’s better than you as a friend and I’ll always love you that way. I’ll always be there for you whenever you need me. But Akane’s the girl I fell in love with. She’s the one who I want to marry.”

Ukyo sat there for a long time with her eyes closed. After a while, she slowly opened her eyes. “Can I ask you to do me a favor, Ranchan?”

“Anything, Ucchan.”

“Don’t move.”

“Huh?” There was a resounding clang as Ukyo brought her combat spatula down on his head in a swift attack. “Oh.”

Ukyo smiled just a little bit. “Thanks. I needed some stress relief and you were right. You were there for me.” She sniffled and wiped away her tears. “I’m not sure if I’m going to be okay or not… I’ve got a lot I have to think about…”

Ranma smiled back. “So, how did you figure it out?”

“Figure what out?”

“About me an’ Akane?”

“Well, I wasn’t positive, to be honest… but I noticed some differences in the way you guys have acted. You quit insulting Akane at the drop of a hat. Your ‘fights’ looked a lot more staged. And Akane switched from pounding you into the ground and stomping off for home to batting you off into the distance and heading anywhere but home. And then there’s the fact that you two are never apart… you haven’t even been into my restaurant without her in over a month. All circumstantial, but it started looking funny to me. But I do want to know some things… how long have you two known about the way you feel?”

Akane smiled a little. “Since Jusendo. When I opened my eyes, I could still hear Ranma’s voice crying out that he loved me. It was then that the last barrier that kept us apart broke. I was afraid of telling him that I loved him because there was this part of me that was terrified that I would be rejected. But with that cry, there was no doubt any more.”

Ukyo frowned. “But if you knew then, why did both of you looked so relieved when I… bombed the wedding.”

Ranma scratched the back of his head. “Well, ya see… Akane wasn’t ready yet.”

“’Akane wasn’t ready?’” Ukyo repeated.

“When Akane and I get married, Shampoo’s gonna challenge her or just outright attack her. I’ve been trainin’ Akane so that when it happens, Shampoo’s gonna lose. We figured that if that happens, Shampoo will finally give up. That’s why we’ve been holdin’ these trainin’ sessions in secret. That way, Akane can get the drop on Shampoo.”

“I noticed I wasn’t mentioned in that little equation.”

“Huh?”

“I think she meant that you didn’t seem to be concerned about her attacking me, Ranma.”

“Oh, that… well, I didn’t think you would actually try an’ hurt Akane. You aren’t the kinda person who would hurt someone who didn’t deserve it, Ucchan. Ya’ve only hit people in self-defense, or when ya had a grudge, like against me an’ pops. Yer too good a friend to ever hurt Akane just ‘cuz I’m in love with her.”

Ukyo absorbed that thought for a while. “But I did bomb the wedding. I did try to hurt her.”

“No ya didn’t, Ucchan. You tried to bomb me. It was Shampoo that aimed for Akane. And it was Kuno that came with live steel… speakin’ of which, I still owe him for that. Ryoga jus’ showed up by accident. And Kodachi is the one that came in a weddin’ dress. I still owe her fer that one too. I wish I hadn’t asked Nabiki to invite them.”

Ukyo blinked. “YOU asked Nabiki to invite us?” The wheels in her mind turned. “Oh, right. You were trying to get the wedding stopped. Why didn’t you just call me for that?”

Ranma rubbed the back of his head. “Uhm… well, to be honest… I was… well, I didn’t wancha to… misunderstand.”

Ukyo nodded as her shoulders sagged. “I would have… there was this faint hope that maybe it was just your father’s idea and that you might still choose to marry me. I felt so worthless… it seemed like the dishonor of ruining the wedding ceremony wouldn’t matter, because I already meant nothing.”

Ranma hugged her close. “Ucchan, don’t ever think that. Please. You do mean something. You mean a lot to me and to Akane. Believe it or not, she’s thought of ya as more of a friend than as a rival these past few months.”

Ukyo blinked and turned to Akane. “Really? Why?”

Akane took Ukyo’s hands in hers. “Ukyo, you are Ranma’s best friend. Actually, I’m a bit jealous of you about that. Ranma may be in love with me, but you’re a better friend to him than I am. Once I got past looking at you as a rival, I saw what a kind person you were. You are determined, loyal, trusting, and trustworthy. You helped Ranma save Konatsu from a horrible family, and you tried to save Ranma from a marriage you thought he didn’t want. I realized that you would make a great friend. Will you be my friend?”

Ukyo’s mind was in chaos. “I don’t know… I’m going to have to think on this a lot. But… I can’t promise… but I think I can try… to be honest… I think I gave up hope on Ranma a while ago… but I was too stubborn to let go. So, besides Nabiki, who else knows?”

“Mousse.”

“MOUSSE?”

“To be honest, he was the perfect accomplice. He wouldn’t betray us to the Amazons, not if it meant he could finally have a shot at Shampoo without me in the way. And he could help us prepare for some of their tricks.”

“That makes sense… in a really weird sort of way. Life makes strange friends, huh?”

Ranma smiled at her. “If you decide that you want to be our friend, we could use your help. Akane needs some more trainin’ and our ‘fights’ are starting to look a little too planned. But if you and her could get into a ‘bad argument’ on occasion, which ends up in a ‘fight’, it’d really help us both out.”

Ukyo smiled a little bit. “That might be fun… I’m tired, Ranma… I’m so very tired of it all… the chasing, the worry, the loneliness…” Ukyo sagged and began to fall down, but Ranma was there for her, like he promised he would be. He looked at her worriedly until he realized that she had merely passed out.

Akane smiled at him. “Why don’t you take her home, Ranma? It’ll make a good excuse for practice tomorrow, among other things.”

Ranma smiled back. “Akane, you’re the best.”

In the back of the Nekohanten, Cologne was communing with an even older Amazon Elder. She had grown weary of the repeated failures to secure Ranma’s cooperation. She was also becoming concerned that almost two years had passed since Ranma defeated Shampoo the first time, and there was still no sign of him accepting her as his wife. Cologne had swallowed her pride and begun the ritual to ask for assistance from one of the most revered of Amazon Elders. Wei Hui was one of the original founders of the village over three thousand years ago. She was crafty, wise, and very difficult to work with. She was also dead.

“What do you want?” The spirit asked in a commanding tone.

“I seek an answer to the situation with Ranma.” Cologne did not explain the situation, for the records indicated that Wei Hui was aware of all things pertaining to her village.

“It is good that you have come to me. I know the only acceptable answer. You will convince all of those involved to go to the Asukasa Kannon Temple in Tokyo. This will happen in two days. You will do this at night, after the temple has closed. At that time, the issue of Ranma will be resolved. There is one more thing, Ko Lon. Neither you nor Mu Tsu will enter the temple that night. Only Xian Pu. If either of you enter at that time, you will regret it for the remainder of your short lives.”

The cold finality in Wei Hui’s voice left no room for argument in Cologne’s mind. “It will be done as you have said, Revered Elder.”

“I’m home!” Akane yelled when she stomped through the entrance to the Tendo home. She started to head up the stairs to her room when she saw that Cologne was talking with her father and Mr. Saotome.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“Wonderful news, Akane! Cologne has asked us to gather all of the fiancés together so that everything can finally be resolved! All we have to do is go to the Asukasa Kannon Temple in Tokyo in four days! She has sworn that if Ranma asks Shampoo to leave after that, then she will. Isn’t that wonderful!”

“Uh, yeah… dad, have you ever heard the phrases ‘too good to be true’ and ‘smells like a trap’?” Akane tried to keep most of the biting sarcasm out of her voice.

Genma scoffed. “This is the best chance for us to be rid of these bothersome Amazons.” Genma found himself inspecting the floor very closely after Cologne whacked him in the head with her staff.

It took some serious effort on Cologne’s part, but she finally managed to convince the Tendos and Saotomes to go along with her plan. It took centuries of experience for the Amazon to hide her grin.

The people most interested in seeing the whole mess taken care of gathered outside of the Asukasa Kannon Temple at the appointed time. Ranma and his parents, Akane and her family, Ukyo and Konatsu, Ryoga, Dr. Tofu, and the three local Amazons waited warily for night to fall. When the time came, Shampoo passed through the Kaminarimon, the Gate of the God of Thunder, followed by almost everyone else. The moment they stepped through, everyone felt as if they were being watched. Ranma noticed that Cologne had stopped outside the gate, as had Mousse.

“What’re you waiting for?”

Cologne shook her head. “Mousse and I will remain outside. I have been informed that Mousse and I will not be welcome in this place tonight.”

Ranma began to feel extremely nervous, but his father placed a hand on his shoulder. “I will stay here as well, son. I’ll make sure that they don’t try anything when we’re not looking.” Ranma didn’t exactly trust his father, but he doubted the old man would be stupid enough to try anything with the old ghoul.

Ranma, followed by the others, continued down the street that ran through the temple. Ranma started to step through a doorway into the five-story pagoda that was at the center of the temple, but Akane grabbed his elbow. “We have to do this right, Ranma.” Ranma looked blankly at her as she moved to the fountain and washed her hands and rinsed her mouth with the water there. The others followed suit. Ranma was a little surprised to find out that Akane was religious, but he filed that bit of information away for later.

They went up the steps into the main hall and towards the shrine to Kannon, the Goddess of Mercy. As they approached, a section of the floor glowed brightly before vanishing to reveal steps leading down. At the bottom of the stairs was an old, smaller shrine. In the shrine stood a statue of Kannon. When everyone was in the shrine, the stairs glowed and vanished.

To their amazement, the party saw the eyes of the statue open and glow with an unearthly light. They stood in awed silence as the light from her eyes washed over each of them.

“Ranma Saotome.”

Ranma blinked. “Uh, yeah?”

“You are the only one here who has killed. How dare you enter my temple?” The goddess’ voice was steady and calm, but there was a cold rage behind it.

“Hey, it was his fault! He wouldn’t get out of the way! And he came back anyways!”

“Silence. It matters not that Saffron was able to regenerate from his death. You were willing to kill. How do you defend your actions?”

“If I hadn’t, Akane woulda died! I didn’t want to kill him, but he wouldn’t get out of the way!”

“What makes Akane’s life more important than Saffron’s?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

“So for your selfish love, you were willing to kill another being, one whose death would entail untold suffering and hardship? I ask you now, if you were there at that critical moment, would you kill him again?”

“Yes.”

“You are an unrepentant murderer and anathema to my eyes. I hereby render judgment. For killing in the name of love, you will find only misery in love. Should you marry, your wife will die within the first two years of your marriage. Should your mate become pregnant, she will die before giving birth. So that you can understand the misery that you have caused others, those who have come with you will be granted a gift. These gifts will help ease the trouble in their lives, so that each person’s happiness will drive another dagger into your soul. As I have spoken, so shall it be.” With that, there was a blinding flash from the statue and suddenly they found themselves at the entrance to the temple. A shocked Cologne and Genma greeted their appearance.

Barely able to hide the smirk at the stunned expression on their face, Cologne hopped onto her staff. ‘The spirit said the solution would be given. From the look on his face, she was right.’ She looked over to her Great-granddaughter and all further thoughts derailed. Shampoo was weeping and crying, but Cologne could tell instantly that they were not tears of joy. She frowned deeply. “What happened?”

In dazed confusion, Ranma told her what the goddess had said. Cologne’s eyes flew wide. “Why did Wei Hui send you to this goddess? Surely she would have kno-“

Cologne stopped as Mousse began laughing. She scowled at the young man. “What is so funny?”

“You asked Wei Hui for advice on Ranma?” Mousse laughed mightily. “Elder, do you not remember that she detests men? She was the one that instituted the laws that no male may rise to the status of Elder or even Advisor. She was the one that tried to make it so that no male may ever carry a weapon and she wanted to make it a law that if any male spoke back to any woman, he should be put to death.”

Too late Cologne realized her mistake. Wei Hui had told her not to enter, knowing that she had killed before as well. Mousse was not to enter because Wei Hui did not want the goddess to grant him a favor for which he was, in the spirit’s eyes, unworthy. Feeling as if the world rested on her back, Cologne sighed and found one ray of good fortune. ‘With Ranma deemed unworthy of marriage, Shampoo can return home without further loss of honor.’ “It seems that my request was answered. I asked for a resolution to the issue of Ranma and his fiancés. It would appear that the issue has been resolved. Come, Shampoo. We are leaving.”

Cologne started to pogo away, but she stopped when she realized that her great-granddaughter was not following her. “Shampoo, come here.” The purple-haired warrior shook her head once before throwing her arms around Ranma.

“Shampoo no want leave Airen!” She held on to Ranma with desperate strength.

“I will not permit you to end your life by angering a goddess.” She tapped the unconsciousness pressure point on Shampoo’s neck and motioned for Mousse to pick her up. “As for you, you have my sincerest regrets. We will bother you no more. Bie Lao.” Before anyone could say anything, Cologne and Shampoo disappeared into the night.

Mousse walked up to Ranma and bowed. “I regret not knowing what the old ghoul’s real plan was, Saotome. You do not deserve that curse. If I can ever be of assistance, you can call upon me.” With another bow, Mousse also vanished into the night.

A hysterically sobbing Ukyo suddenly tackled from behind Ranma. “I’m sorry, Ranchan! If I had given up on you sooner, if I had just let Akane have you, this would never have happened! I love you! I just couldn’t let go! I’m sorry!” Ranma was still to frozen from the realization of what just happened to respond. Ukyo turned away and ran into the night with Konatsu following closely on her heels.

Ranma suddenly felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Ryoga’s face. There was no arrogance there. There was no pity or hate either. Ranma saw only sorrow in the lost boy’s face. “I’m sorry.” Ryoga seemed to want to say more, but instead he turned and walked out of the temple as well.

“I think we should go home for now.” Nodoka softly took her son’s hand and led him out of the temple.

The next morning, Ranma could not be found at first and Akane had locked herself in her room. Nodoka finally found her son sitting on a crossbeam in the dojo. She called his name a number of times before he finally responded.

“Ranma, come down. We will find some way around this problem,” Nodoka said soothingly. Ranma looked at her funny and jumped down from the beam, but he stayed silent. Inside the house, everyone except Akane was gathered around the table. Ranma could tell that they were discussing ways to try and get around the goddess’s curse. From the exasperated look on Nabiki’s face, it wasn’t going very well.

“I could marry the boy to an American woman who’s on Death Row. Then, when she dies, the curse will be lifted!” Genma looked rather pleased with this idea.

Nabiki groaned. “There is no guarantee that only the first wife will die. Are you willing to risk Akane’s life?”

‘Yes,’ Genma thought in his head. ‘After all, there are two other Tendo daughters.’ He was, however, wise enough to not state his opinion out loud. Outwardly, he shook his head. “Well, what if we have Ranma and Akane marry, and then, when it looks like her life is in danger, they declare a divorce, and then after the danger is passed, they get married again?”

Nabiki groaned even louder. “Oh, for kami’s sake… are you really that stupid?”

Genma glared at the middle Tendo. “You have a better idea, girl?”

Nabiki nodded. “Sure. And it’s guaranteed to work.”

Everyone started to look hopeful, but Ranma had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it. “How much?”

Nabiki rolled her eyes. “Oh, I think the price is going to be high enough without me adding to it. First, we go to China. Then we steal that bucket and kettle from the Musk. Then we have Akane jump into the Pool of Drowned Man. Then we use the bucket to lock both of you in your cursed forms. Then we destroy the kettle. Finally, we have you legally changed into a girl, and Akane legally changed into a boy. That way you, Ranma, are the wife and Akane is the husband. The curse specifically stated ‘your’ wife. And since Akane wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, she would be safe from that part of the curse as well. And you could still bear an heir to the school, so everything would work out.”

Kasumi blinked. It was the loudest noise in the room, and it echoed resoundingly throughout the house.

Everyone’s eyes slowly turned to Ranma, who continued to stare at Nabiki. Slowly his mouth opened. “You are one sick, twisted psycho. And kami help me, I’m considering it.”

Nodoka frowned a little. “That’s not a very manly thing, Ranma.”

Ranma looked her in the eyes. “Mom, I’m going to say this once. I love Akane. Period. End of story. Fuck being manly. Being manly is what got me into this damn mess.”

Nodoka blinked in surprise and started to speak, but Akane’s voice, emerging from her room, stopped her. “Ranma... could you come here?”

A small vacuum formed where Ranma had been sitting as he all but teleported into Akane’s room. Inside, he found her sitting on her bed. She had obviously been crying, and it tore at his heart.

“Ranma, we don’t have to figure it out now. We don’t need to decide anything just yet. The curse said that once we get married or I get pregnant, then we’ll have a problem. Well, I really don’t want to get pregnant now anyway. I want to go through school and maybe go to college first. That gives us at least a few years. And, as long as WE know we love each other, do we really need to get married right now?”

Ranma could tell that she had been thinking this through all night. He slipped his hand over hers. “I do love you, Akane. If you think you can handle it, then so can I.”

A month passed with the only change in Nerima being the lack of Amazons. Everyone began to wonder whether the curse was actually real since no one had received a boon, or at least one that they could recognize. Then Ryoga showed up at the Tendo Dojo.

Ranma greeted the lost boy cheerfully. The weeks had eased the stress some, and the fact that he and Akane didn’t have to pretend they hated each other helped too. “What’s up?”

Ryoga stared at Ranma for a moment. “I need to talk to you. Meet me at Furinkan High in ten minutes.” Without waiting for a response, Ryoga ran off.

Ranma sighed and considered going back to the dojo, but he changed his mind. He headed for school to meet with Ryoga.

An hour later, Akane was practicing in the dojo with Ukyo. The chef was giving her some pointers on using weapons while Akane was helping her with her unarmed skills. Ranma coughed from the dojo doorway. Ukyo and Akane both turned towards him with smiles on their faces. Their smiles faded some when they noticed his subdued expression. “What’s wrong, Ranchan?”

“Ryoga’s cured.”

Akane and Ukyo both blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

Ranma leaned against the doorway. “Ryoga doesn’t get lost any more.”

Akane smiled. “That’s great! Maybe he can get on with his life then.”

“Yeah.”

Ranma’s reaction surprised Akane. “Aren’t you happy for him?”

“Thrilled.” Before Akane or Ukyo could respond, he looked at them both. “It’s just… I was hoping that maybe the curse was fake. Like maybe the old ghoul got tired of me and used it as an excuse to get Shampoo home without loss of honor or somethin’. But Ryoga got his boon. He found a necklace with a small figure of Kannon attached to it. When he put it on, he was able to find his way to Akari’s place. He was also able to get home, come to the dojo, go to Furinkan, wherever he wanted.”

Akane’s face fell. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Ukyo fidgeted nervously. She knew that she was supposed to receive a boon as well, and the cost bothered her. Her thoughts were interrupted when Nodoka’s voice sounded from the house. “Ranma! Akane! Please come in! I have some news!”

Ukyo followed them in, with Akane’s permission. Inside, they found the family gathered around the table again. Genma sat next to his wife with a strange, almost satisfied expression on his face. Nodoka was beaming happily as Ranma and Akane sat down. “What’s up, mom?”

“I just got back from Doctor Tofu’s office and I have an announcement. Ranma, you’re going to be a brother.”

A few months later, when Nodoka was beginning to show quite nicely, Soun received a surprise visit. It was the old lady that had been his neighbor for two decades. He showed her into the living room.

“Pardon my intrusion, but I have a problem,” she said.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He offered.

The old woman smiled and nodded. “I will be going on a tour of the world and I expect to be gone for many years. I was hoping you might know someone who could watch my house for me. Hopefully someone with a family. It’s been too long since my house has had a family in it, especially a baby.”

Soun smiled and nodded. “I know just the family. They have a child on the way, and it’s been getting harder for them to visit us since they live a good distance away.”

The old woman smiled. “That will be perfect.”

The day after she graduated from high school, Nabiki received a letter. Her ever-present mask of calm shattered into a thousand pieces as she let out a happy whoop! The family came running, Nodoka carrying Nagi, her infant daughter.

“What’s up, Nabiki?” Ranma asked.

“My internship’s been accepted at Wayne Enterprises!”

“Congratulations! Uh, is that good?”

Nabiki rolled her eyes. “Never get involved in money matters, Ranma. But yes, that’s very good. Wayne Enterprises is one of the biggest corporations in the world. The only problem will be the fact that I have to move to Gotham for a while.” At Ranma’s blank look, she sighed. “In America.”

“Oh. Well, congratulations anyways.”

Soun began bawling loudly. “Both my baby girls are growing up!”

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. “Both?”

Soun held up a letter to Nabiki while Kasumi blushed and tried to look at anything but her family. Nabiki read over the letter and began chuckling. “Well, it seems someone went and got a scholarship to medical school.”

Kasumi blushed even worse than before. “It was all Tofu’s idea. He knew I was interested in medicine and he asked if I wanted help getting into school again… after he proposed to me.”

Nabiki and Akane hugged Kasumi fiercely. “It’s about time! How did he ever stay sane enough to pop the question?”

Kasumi shrugged a little. “A few months ago, he stopped acting all silly whenever I saw him.”

Ranma scowled and muttered, “Kannon strikes again.”

A few weeks passed until a pensive Ukyo came to visit with Ranma and Akane. “What’s wrong, Ukyo?”

The chef sighed as she sat down. She held out a letter to Ranma. After he finished reading it, he tilted an eyebrow at her. “Ooookay. Do they really think they’ll find someone who thinks they’re beautiful in France? Those old broads really creep me out sometimes.”

“You and me both. But I already checked and all of their property has been passed on to Konatsu. He’s now the owner of his family’s Teahouse.”

“Well, that’s good news for him. But why do you seem so worried?”

Ukyo sighed. “I’m not worried… It’s… He…” She paused for some time. “He asked me if we could combine the businesses. He doesn’t really have any business sense and he has no real ambitions. I just don’t know if I should or not.”

“Why wouldn’cha, Ucchan?”

“Well… I… I’d feel like I was taking advantage of him.”

“Huh? But he’s askin’ ya to do it.”

“I know. But I think he’s doing it because he’s in love with me, and I’m not in love with him.”

“Are ya sure?” Ranma received a whack on the back of the head from Akane.

“I’m sure he’s in love with me. Once I stopped obsessing over you, I was able to see that he is in love with me.”

“Nah, I meant ‘Are ya sure ya ain’t in love with ‘im?’” Ranma received another whack. He turned to glare at Akane.

“Oh… No, I’m not sure… I got burned by you pretty badly, Ranma. I’m not really over you yet. I’m not sure if I ever will be. And it wouldn’t be right to use Konatsu as some kind of a cushion.”

“I suppose. After all, I am pretty much the greatest thing to come along.” Akane started to hit him again, but Ukyo beat her to it.

Ranma rubbed his sore head. “Ow. Anyways, it seems to me that Konatsu likes you for who you are Ukyo. Why not give the guy a chance? ‘Sides, it’s just a business deal. It ain’t like yer getting’ engaged or nothin’.”

Ranma glanced over at Akane as they sat through the last part of the wedding ceremony. “What was that I said about her not getting’ engaged?” A short distance away, Ryoga and Akari sat smiling, remembering their own wedding.

Akane grinned at Ranma. “I’m just glad she was able to patch things up with her family and that they accepted Konatsu.”

Ranma looked back towards the bride and groom. “There’s one thing I’m curious about. Who’s gonna wear the pants in the family?”

After the reception and party, Ranma and Akane returned to the Tendo home. Soun was visiting Genma, Nodoka, and Nagi. Kasumi was off enjoying her honeymoon and college, and Nabiki was off in America. It was just the two of them alone in the house.

“It was really great seein’ Ucchan so happy.”

Akane nodded and smiled as she snuggled in close. “It was a nice wedding. Almost as good as Kasumi’s.”

Ranma nodded. “Better sake though.” He was feeling a bit flushed since Ukyo had talked him into downing a few with her. He gazed down at Akane and let his eyes travel over her lovely form as she snuggled against him. “Ya know, I’m not sure I’ve said this recently, but I love you.”

Akane looked up at him with a smile. “And I love you, you perverted jerk.”

“Uncute, sexless tomboy,” Ranma responded with a smile. Their faces grew closer. Slowly, their lips came together in a passionate kiss. Ranma and Akane lost themselves in the kiss as their hands moved to hold each other. After a few minutes they came up for air. They fell asleep together on the couch.

During the night Ranma had a horrid nightmare. It started off quite pleasantly, actually. He and Akane were kissing, like they had been a little while ago, but this time the kissing turned into something more. As their passion grew, he felt a small nagging thought running through the back of his mind, but he ignored it. As their passion climaxed, a cold, cruel voice cut through the pleasure. “And now she will die.” Suddenly there were cats everywhere, clawing and biting at Akane, tearing her apart.

Ranma managed to cut the scream off as he woke up and felt Akane shift next to him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around her and wept as he realized what might have happened. He also had a good idea what the dream meant. “I’m sorry, Akane… I can’t trust myself any more.”

The next morning, Akane woke up. She looked around the living room but she could find no sign of Ranma. After searching most of the house and dojo, she went into her room. On her bed sat a box wrapped in paper with tiny pigs all over it and tied with a yellow ribbon with black dots. She sat down on her bed and unwrapped the box. Inside were a stuffed pig that looked just like P-Chan and an envelope, which she opened. Inside of the envelope were a letter and an absolutely gorgeous ring. Her heart began to beat incredibly fast as she read the letter.

“Dear Akane,”

“I love you. I just can’t say it enough. I really do. I bought this the day before our trip to the temple. I was planning to offer it to you right in front of the Amazons. But, like usual, my plan just didn’t work.”

“Last night, I realized something. While I could trust you, I started finding that I couldn’t trust myself. I began to realize that one of these times we might not be able to stop ourselves and something terrible could happen. It’s been over a year and we still haven’t figured out a way around the curse. I can’t ask you to stay with me outside of marriage. You deserve a husband and a family.”

“I’d be willing to give Nabiki’s idea about using the pools to get around the curse, except for one problem. It’s not about me losing my manhood or having to be a girl or get pregnant or anything like that. For you I’d be willing to do anything. The problem is, what if the curse doesn’t care what your outside form is? I know I don’t. I’d love you if you were a boy or a girl. What if the curse decided that since you were born a girl, being turned into a guy wouldn’t make a difference? I just couldn’t risk it. I love you too much.”

“What I’ve decided, and kami forgive me for doing this without talking to you, is that I’m going to leave. I will not stop trying to find an answer, and if I do and you’ll still take me, I’ll come back. If you find someone else, the only thing that matters to me is that you’re happy. Don’t put your life on hold any longer just for me.”

“If I can work up the courage, I’ll try to write to you occasionally. But don’t try to find me and don’t follow me, please.”

“I love you. Ranma”

Author’s Note:

In the pointless side note category, Wei Hui is a bit of an inside joke. It’s as close as I could get to translating Akane’s name into Chinese. Akane means Madder Red (I’m guessing that means Angry Red or Dark Red), Wei Hui means Dark Red. I needed a name for a man-hater, and Akane jumped to mind. Yes, I know… I know… She’s not that bad, but still… my story, so bugger off! 8) In a friendly way.