Pure Stupidity Defined

By Dyne

     "Tendo Akane or Kuonji Ukyo... Tendo Akane or Kuonji Ukyo..." Kuno Tatewaki chanted as he meditated deeply on the difficult decision he had been trying to make. However while he pondered on the names of the two girls, there were posters of three on the wall. Between the life-size posters of the short-haired martial artist and the long-haired okonomiyaki chef was one of a red-headed, pig-tailed girl who was equally as lovely as the other two, but she was one who he would never see again.

     "Oh, my pig-tailed goddess," Kuno whimpered as he opened his eyes and gazed upon her visage, allowing the waterfall of tears stream down his face, "to know that I have lost thee for a year and shall never enjoy thy company again. It is despicable that the one whose hands murdered you has not been brought to justice. Fear not, for today I shall smite the vile Ikimono and allow you to rest in peace."

     Kuno's blood boiled as he recalled the declaration from his first eternal rival, Saotome Ranma, and the second who he'd gained the day before that declaration, Ikimono Kohei.


     "Silence, foul Saotome!" he pointed his bokken at him, "this morning I shall smite thee as well and set at liberty the lovely Akane Tendo, the voluptuous pig-tailed girl, and the ravishing Kuonji Ukyo so that their hearts may be once again mine!"

     Ranma shouted, "The pig-tailed girl? You'll never see her again!"

     "Still thy tongue! What have you done with her?!"

     "Nothing," Ranma shrugged.

     "You lie, foul Saotome!"

     "He's right," Kohei admitted, "I was the one who made it so she would never appear again," he stepped aside to reveal the dead body of the pig-tailed girl, covered in blood and obviously strangled.

     "Murderer! On my honor I shall smite thee!" he raised his bokken and prepared to charge.



     Ikimono had shown up without warning the previous morning at school and prevented his reunion with the three girls and had the gall to challenge him. Through pure accident he had gained a partial victory, so Kuno waited the entire night for his return. Between those two mornings, he must have been consumed with jealousy over the pig-tailed girl and killed her before he arrived. When he did show up, he had allied himself with Saotome and they had used their black magic to defeat him. Both Saotome and Ikimono then kidnapped Akane and Ukyo, stealing them away for four excruciating months. The horrors they must have put them through made Kuno's anger rage even more. It must have taken all of their strength to live through the ordeal and escape. Once they were able to free themselves from the clutches of the vile sorcerers and return to Nerima, Kuno continued his quest to liberate their minds and win their hearts. However, their bewitchment for them to turn away from him was still in place and he failed for the rest of the school year.

     True, he graduated from high school, but he learned that Ikimono had returned and not only had brainwashed Akane again, he had the gall to enroll in school! Kuno could not stand it. He would punish him for the death of the pig-tailed girl, the theft of Tendo Akane's soul, and his acting like he belonged in Nerima!

     "Tatewaki-sama!" Sasuke burst into the kendo club building. "He has arrived!"

     "Excellent, Sasuke!" Kuno leapt to his feet, grabbed his bokken, "Today is the day I smite him and avenge my goddess!" and dashed outside.


     As he walked into the school gates, Ikimono Kohei hummed his favorite song as he took his steps along the path. He didn't know why, but he felt that something significant was going to happen by the end of the day.

     "Kohibito, good morning!" his fiancÚ, Tendo Akane, called from the entrance of the main building where she was standing with her friends, Yuka and Sayuri.

     Before he was able to return her greeting, he was interrupted by a loud shout of, "Ikimono Kohei, prepare to pit your skills against mine!" as Kuno came charging from wherever he came from.

     Him again. He has yet to learn how to face reality, Kohei thought. As Kuno reached him, her simply dodged to the left, ducked below his attack, and countered.


     "Shigami no Genkotsu!"


     Landing his fist between the kendoist's ribs, he carried his foe up into the air, then landed a hard kick to his chest. Rather than send him back towards the ground, Kohei aimed his attack to send Kuno flying back into the clubhouse via the roof.

     Why does he still occupy that clubhouse when he's no longer even attending this school? he thought again as he landed and continued walking as if nothing had happened.

     "Good morning."


     "There he goes," Ranma observed as he saw the former Blue Thunder soaring with the birds for a brief moment. He paid it no mind and continued to walk along the fence.

     "He's been leaving you alone lately, Ranchan," Ukyo commented, "why do you think Kuno's only been attacking Kohei?"

     "Dunno," he raised his hands to rest his head on them, "maybe he's decided to leave you alone and stalk Akane."

     "I wish," she sighed, "he still hasn't let up on me."

     "Well I can't blame him," Ranma grinned, "he is after the cutest girl in school." His grin widened when he saw her blush and look aside.



     "Tatewaki-sama!" Sasuke was busy trying to pull the bucket from Kuno's head as it had been stuck on it the entire day. The rich man had only regained consciousness a few minutes beforehand.

     "His sorcery is just as powerful as Saotome's," Kuno mused as he sat cross-legged with arms folded, "I must exploit his weakness, but I have found none. That leaves me no other choice, I must destroy him completely!"

     His ninja bodyguard stopped his struggle to remove the bucket as he realized, "Tatewaki-sama, you can't mean-"

     "Yes!" Kuno stood up, "I will challenge him in a fight to the death!"

     "Tatewaki-sama, you can't be serious!"

     "Do not argue with me, Sasuke! I couldn't be more serious! I shall personally avenge the murder of the pig-tailed girl at the hands of Ikimono Kohei. If death is the only way in which justice will be administered to him, I shall deliver it myself!" He followed up with roaring laughter as he repeated, "To the death!"

     He's really gone crazy, Sasuke slumped against the wall. His attention was diverted as the clubhouse door opened.

     "Are you still here?" Juuman Aremi, the club captain, lowered her eyebrows upon seeing Kuno inside, "the kendo club is about to meet. Begone!" and booted him out through the entrance.

     Sasuke dashed out after his master, thinking, That girl is the epitome of beauty itself. Why hasn't Tatewaki-sama fallen in love with her?

     "These don't belong in here, either!" Aremi's voice shouted as she threw the rolled-up posters of the three girls outside. They were tied to his bokken, which hit Sasuke directly in the face, knocking him out.


     "Kuno-sempai," Akane crouched by the prone body of the bucket-headed kendoist, "why are you still here? Leave Kohei alone and go to your college."

     "I will not!" Kuno declared as, in an instant recovery, he stood upright, "He is responsible for the death of the pig-tailed girl and justice has not been done!" Forgive me, lovely Tendo Akane, for until my quest in wiping Ikimono from the face of the earth is completed, I cannot give you the privilege of my affection."

     "Are you accusing Kohei of murder?" she asked in disbelief.

     "Yea, of the pig-tailed girl!"

     Using the technique that Kohei taught her in how to channel her angry energy into enhancing her fighting abilities, Akane delivered a punch through the bucket to knock him out cold, and knocking the pail from his face. Once she saw the effectiveness of her attack, she began to drag him by the back of his uniform towards the audio/video room. She was in luck as she caught Ranma just leaving.

     "Hey, Ranma," she called, "I need you for a minute!"

     "What's up?" he asked, "Your turn to give Kuno his beating?"

     "It's time we settled something once and for all. Take him to the AV room while I grab a few things."

     "What's going on?"

     "He thinks Kohei murdered your female half when he cured your curse! Even Kuno isn't stupid enough to not see the truth after watching the video of your transformation."

     "Somehow I don't think that's going to work since we are dealing with Kuno, but it's worth a shot." He took Kuno from his sister-in-law and dragged him the rest of the way into the building.


     "What manner of sorcery do you plan on putting me under, foul Saotome?" Kuno demanded when he awoke and found himself tied to a chair in the AV room.

     "Listen to me, Kuno," Ranma thrust a finger at his face, "we're going to clear this up once and for all! Akane's on her way here with proof that your 'pig-tailed girl' wasn't kidnapped and not murdered! She was me! A couple of months before we met I fell into a cursed spring in China that turned me into a girl whenever I was splashed with cold water and hot water turned me back into a boy! Couldn't you tell how much we looked alike and that we used the same name! We were never seen together either! When Kohei came to Japan he cured my curse! So he didn't 'murder' anyone!"

     "You are a liar, Saotome! I saw Ikimono kill her with my own eyes!"

     "Um... I think you've lost it."

     "My words are truth and on my honor, I shall avenge her death!"

     "I'm startin' to think you need another form of persuasion," he grinned as he punched his palm.

     "You wouldn't dare!"

     "It's a nice idea, but unlike you, I have a sense of honor!"

     "Honor? You? I laugh!"

     "Actually, I don't think I care anymore!" Ranma brought his arm back. "And I don't think you'll be needing those teeth!"

     He didn't follow through as the door opened and Akane walked in carrying a small package.

     "I see that you've bewitched Tendo Akane yet again. But good fortune may come of this as you and Ikimono battle each other and eliminate each other. Then her and Kuonji Ukyo's minds will be freed!"

     Akane didn't hesitate in punching him again.

     "That's not why we're here!" she shouted.

     "I already gave him the background about it," Ranma informed as he leaned against the wall.

     "Good, that'll save time. Sign this," Akane handed him a sheet of paper, then pulled out a stack of photos from the bundle. It was a series of shots with Ranma in his male form in the first, a bucket a cold water falling on him in the second. The third was a wet, red-headed, pig-tailed girl. Next was a kettle of hot water being poured on her and the final was the returned-to-male-form Ranma with steam rising from his body.

     "And if that wasn't enough," Akane pulled out a video cassette, inserted it into one of the VCRs, and played it. The picture that was displayed was the exact same as the series of photographs; Ranma being turned from male to female form and vice-versa.

     "Finally, read this," Akane held up the paper that Ranma had just signed in front of his face.

     "'I, Saotome Ranma, hereby declare that I fell into Nyaniichuan, the Spring of Drowned Girl while training at the legendary Training Ground of Accursed Springs, Jusenkyo. I would turn into a girl when doused with cold water, only being able to return to male form when doused with hot water. This curse stayed with me until I was by Ikimono Kohei, who poured water from Nannichuan, the Spring of Drowned Man, onto my body,'" Kuno read then saw that Ranma had indeed signed the declaration.

     "So now do you finally see that the pig-tailed girl and I were one and the same?" Ranma asked.

     "What kind of fool do you take me for to fall for doctored photos and forged declarations?" Kuno retorted.

     This guy's stupidity is unbelievable! Ranma shouted in his mind.

     "I know better than to fall for your black magic. I shall never forget the fearful look in my goddess's eyes as she was heartlessly strangled by an evil man. Oh, as I recall her, I can describe each of her features perfectly..."

     As he began a poetic rant, Ranma and Akane simply left the room and heavily barred the door.


     The two teens quickly made their way to the Nekohanten to warn Kohei about Kuno's wrath. They considered picking up Ukyo and having her join them, but she'd just opened her business and was dealing with the after-school crowds. The same was true at the ramen stand as it was fairly full when they arrived.

     "Nihao, Ranma, Akane!" Shampoo greeted upon seeing them, "How can I help you?"

     "Hi Shampoo," Akane was the first to reply, then engaged in a little small-talk, "how's the baby?"

     "Upstairs asleep," she gave them a tired smile, "she has day and night reversed. But it's worth it." After all of her studying during the last year, her Japanese had become perfect.

     "You've been working hard lately," Ranma commented, "you work with Tofu-sensei from dawn until noon then you work here and take care of Gel."

     "I'm not worried, Mousse is the one who takes care of her at night. He's getting even less sleep."

     "Anyway, we need to talk to Kohei. Is he here?"

     "Yes," Shampoo gestured towards the back, "he's cleaning tables."

     He wasn't just cleaning them, he was waxing and polishing them using the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken.

     "Hey," Ranma grinned, "that's exactly like the 'Wax on. Wax-'"

     "Don't!" the two girls interrupted, wanting to be spared of that sorry joke. Ranma and Akane simply walked back to the table that the younger man was working on.

     "Hello, you two," he greeted without looking up, at least not until he was finished. "What brings you here?"

     "We need to talk," Akane pulled up a chair and sat down.

     "Yeah," Ranma sat as well, "we just came from school-" and the two of them quickly re-iterated the recent event at Furinkan.

     "So the conceited swordsman still thinks I murdered your female side, Ranma," Kohei concluded, "I should have guessed that our combined Hiryuu Shoten Ha wasn't going to stop his stupidity."

     "What are you talking about?" Akane asked.

     "It happened on the morning we left for China-" Ranma began again.


     Ranma ran and hopped across the rooftops of Nerima as fast as he could. He and Nodoka had taken the earliest train into the district and, once they arrived, separated briefly as Nodoka said she needed to make one quick stop, allowing him to travel his preferred way. As he arrived at the rendezvous point, he found, as he expected, Kohei to be waiting for him, but not to see who he was with.

     "I have awaited the entire night for your return, Ikimono Kohei," Kuno declared, "and today shall be different than the previous!"

     "Are you so without honor and humility as to never learn that there will always be others who are more skilled than you?" Kohei asked in angry disbelief at how idiotic Kuno was behaving. Ranma knew how he felt.

     "Kuno Tatewaki never admits defeat. It is only an array of setbacks that has allowed me to make mistakes."

     "Jeez, Kuno," Ranma stepped in, "how dumb can you be? You were the one who ran into him yesterday and didn't you notice how fast he kicked your butt?"

     "Silence, foul Saotome!" he pointed his bokken at him, "this morning I shall smite thee as well and set at liberty the lovely Akane Tendo, the voluptuous pig-tailed girl, and the ravishing Kuonji Ukyo so that their hearts may be once again mine!"

     "They were never yours to begin with!" Ranma shouted, then remembered, "and as for the pig-tailed girl, you'll never see her again!"

     "Still thy tongue! What have you done with her?!"

     "Nothing," Ranma shrugged.

     "You lie, foul Saotome!"

     "He's right," Kohei admitted, "I was the one who made it so she would never appear again."

     Ranma grinned, now knowing that they shared the same intent: to make Kuno blindingly angry and get his ki hot enough.

     "Murderer! On my honor I shall smite thee!" he raised his bokken and prepared to charge.

     "What honor, Kuno?" Ranma taunted, "She's told me about all of the dishonorable things you've done to her."

     "Dare I ask?" Kohei looked at him.

     "Foul sorcerers, both of you! I shall send you both to the depths of hell!"

     "Bring it on!" Ranma shouted as Kohei similarly yelled, "I accept your challenge!" and they both rushed in with the Kendo club captain in between them, both moving fast enough to confuse him as to where to strike.

     "Ranma!" Kohei called to him as they prepared their attack, "get back! I don't want this attack to hit you!"

     "Don't worry about me! I know what you're going to do and I'm gonna help you!"

     He could tell that Kohei didn't quite understand what he meant, but he stayed on Kuno's end opposite of Kohei as they spiraled their ice cold ki around Kuno's burning hot ki.


     "HIRYUU SHOTEN HA!!!"

     "HIRYUU SHOTEN HA!!!"


     Ranma didn't quite know what the result was going to be when they raised their arms into the air. He smirked as the resulting two whirlwinds combined into one enormous vortex and sent Kuno flying out of the school grounds, maybe even out of the district.



     "It's obvious that now, a year later, he's fallen so deeply into his fantasy world that he's convinced I'm guilty of murder, despite the proof otherwise," Kohei finished after the story was told.

     "So what are you going to do about it?" Ranma asked, leaning forward.

     "I'm not worried. No matter what he may do his skill lever is nowhere near mine," he stated confidently, without bragging.

     "You're just going to let this continue, Kohibito?" Akane's voice was filled with disbelief.

     "From what all of you have told me about the conceited swordsman and his sister, the only thing that would convince them otherwise is-"

     As if on cue, an arrow came flying through the open window and embedded itself in the pillar next to the table around which the three were. On the shaft was tied a note. It was addressed to Kohei.

     I've got a bad feeling about this, Akane thought as her fiancÚ opened the note.

     "'Ikimono Kohei,'" he read, "'for the murder of the pig-tailed girl I challenge thee to a duel in the field behind Furinkan High School. It shall take place in three day's time and only the victor shall depart alive.' A duel to the death."

     "He can't be serious!" Ranma knocked the chair back as he got on his feet.

     "Read the post-script,' Kohei handed him the letter.

     "'PS: I couldn't be more serious.' Who puts PSes on letters of challenge?"

     "Kuno-sempai is really challenging you to the death," Akane looked at the ground.

     "Aka-chan?" Kohei turned to her.

     "Will you really kill him?"

     "It would be dishonorable to refuse the challenge," he explained, "he thinks of me as a coward and will assume that I will not accept for fear of death. I will accept and maybe his reaction will be what he expects mine to be. If not, then his idiocy will be his downfall."

     Akane was about to say something else, but was pre-empted by the arrival of Aremi, who'd just returned from the kendo club meeting, began work, and was carrying two large bowls of noodles.

     "We didn't order anything," Ranma moved to stop her as she sat the food on the table.

     "It's a gift from Xian Pu," the blue-haired girl countered, smiling, and gave both Akane and Ranma their free meal.

     "Are-chan you had good timing," Kohei remarked, "are you available for training this evening?"

     "I always train with you, Mi-chan, and Akane-sempai after work, Ko-chan," she answered, "why are you asking me specifically?"

     "It will focus on the sword," his voice was almost nonchalant, yet serious at the same time.

     "I understand," she acknowledged and continued waiting the tables.

     It had become a nightly routine for the four of Akane, Kohei, Miki, and Aremi to train and spar together in the Tendo dojo after dinner. But Akane, not having even touched her noodles, knew that by asking Aremi to practice the sword with him, he was dead serious about accepting Kuno's challenge. Even on his own turf! Long after Kohei had been called to make some deliveries and Ranma finished his portion and left, she sat there staring at her now-cold meal.


     "I'm not kidding, Ucchan," Ranma sat at the counter of his fiancÚ's grill as she masterfully prepared an okonomiyaki for him, "Akane and I showed Kuno the photos and video of my transformation, proving that the 'pig-tailed goddess' and I were one and the same, and he still wouldn't believe it! Hell, she even showed him a signed statement!"

     "I'm actually not surprised, Ranchan," the okonomiyaki chef didn't slow down her handiwork, "if he had any sense he would have already given up on Akane and me. It's that lack of common sense that has him thinking that you're a sorcerer."

     "That's not my point. We were just at the Nekohanten warning Kohei about Kuno's continued thinking that he murdered my female side when he got a challenge to fight to the death!"

     This announcement caused Ukyo to nearly drop her cooking spatulas, "To the death?"

     "And he plans on accepting," Ranma continued, "even Kuno should be smart enough to know that death is no joke!"

     "I'm not worried," Ukyo had overcome her shock and continued her cooking.

     "Not worried? Ucchan, a man's life is at stake!"

     "Ranchan, how many battles have you won?"

     "More than I lose, why?"

     "Haven't you noticed how much you and Kohei are alike? Both of you were raised in the Art and know what you're doing. He, like you, wins more than he loses."

     "But Ucchan, he accepted a challenge that only ends in death! The only person I killed was Saffron, and the little brat came back to life because he's immortal. I've never totally killed anyone."

     "I know you haven't, but he has. One was Hashin-"

     "That was because that guy killed his parents and destroyed his home," he interrupted. "Not to mention he gave him the Kiss of Death, being half-Amazon and all."

     "That other was Happosai-"

     "Which was because he thought the old freak was just a cursed doll. That empty-headed Azusa had somehow caught him sometime before."

     Ukyo stuffed the okonomiyaki into his mouth, "If you'll hear me out I'll explain the differences. After defeating Hashin, he felt that the weight of the world was taken off of his shoulders and he had righted a considerable wrong. The only way to be rid of him was to kill him. Now, do you remember his reaction when he found out that 'cursed doll' was a man before we told him that Happosai was the greatest evil in the history of Japan?"

     Ranma swallowed and replied, "Yeah, he looked ready to commit seppuku for killing an 'innocent.'"

     "Exactly. Kohei isn't a shameless killing maniac. If he does kill Kuno then he'll only be defending himself and his honor. I'm still not worried because, like you Ranchan, he knows what he's doing before he does it. For example, when we were on our way to China-"


     "Ukyo-san," Kohei was instructing her for their first portion of the foursome's morning-long training while Ranma worked with Akane several meters away, "Ranma has told me that your accuracy with your throwing weapons is superior to anyone's."

     "Yep," Ukyo answered confidently.

     "I wish to test you,' he stepped five meters away and turned to face her, "use your weapons to cut the ties binding my hair."

     Ukyo's eyes widened at this request. His ponytail was draped down his back and tied at the top, middle, and bottom, to make it thinner. "If I miss, then your hair-"

     "You will not miss because you are as skilled as you are. And don't worry, it has been cut accidentally before."

     "All right," she threw her hesitation aside, drew three mini-spatulas from her bandoleer, and let them fly. Her face gained another confident grin when she saw her trainer's hair open fully as each of the ties were severed. And she hadn't noticed until that time, but his hair was longer than hers!

     "Excellent Ukyo-san," he withdrew some string and re-tied his tail, "now we're going to make is more difficult." He stepped farther back and the test was repeated. Various levels of difficulty were added and the workout continued until the next session of their training began.



     "He already knew that I could have done it," Ukyo finished, "so he'll know how to deal with Kuno."

     "Well, guess I'd better at least try to tell Kuno that it's been nice knowing him," Ranma, now convinced, laughed.


     At the Tendo dojo, Akane's mind was only half-focused on her spar with Miki as she tried to block the younger girl's attacks and keep an eye on Kohei at the same time. He and Aremi were going all-out on each other with their bokkens on the other end of the dojo. They appeared to be equally skilled, but she was beginning to see marks and bruises appear on his arms and face when she couldn't even see Aremi make the hits. Her attention had been turned away from Miki for too long and the green-haired girl was able to land a kick to her chest and knock her back.

     "Ow..." Akane moaned as she landed wrong, caused also by her failure to pay attention.

     "Akane-onee-chan, is something wrong?" Miki squatted next to her, "You seem distracted."

     "It's your brother," she answered, "he received a challenge today."

     "Oh, that one," her voice was plain. "The conceited swordsman wants to fight him to the death."

     "Miki-chan!" Akane was shocked. "It's because he's being falsely accused of murder!"

     "He's defending his honor," she retorted and stood up for him, "if the conceited swordsman is too stupid to see the truth and wants to die, then let him!"

     "Miki-chan..." she could see tears in the younger girl's eyes.

     "He once had to kill to protect me," she slightly choked, "when I was 10 I accidentally broke my leg while training in jumping from to narrow places to narrow places using tree branches. One of the limbs broke, I fell nearly ten meters, and landed in front of a rabid wolf. It saw me as a threat and I could do nothing to fight it off. Big brother heard me and risked his health in possibly being bitten and infected by putting that wolf out of its misery and saving me. I think the same thing's happening now, he's fighting a lustful wolf now to not only protect his name, but to protect you like he did me."

     Akane was beginning to see her point and exactly how much she cared for her older brother. While she thought of Kohei as a noble wolf, she remembered that the same name was given to those who chased women. But after hearing her "little sister's" account of his reason for fighting, she began to understand why he was willing to accept Kuno's challenge. As she watched the other two continue their spar, she began to think of how different would be without Kuno. No more irreverent poetry, no more roomfuls of flowers, no more claims that she belonged to him, no more pictures being taken of her and sold to him, no more having to put up with the declaration that only those who defeated her could date her, no more-

     Wait a minute, Akane thought as her list continued to grow, I'm not going to miss him at all!



     Three days of intense training and preparation passed and, on the dawn of the third day, Kohei stood in the middle of the field behind Furinkan with arms folded waiting for his opponent. He had asked that nobody come to watch the duel, but he knew that Ranma, Ukyo, and Akane were all watching from the bushes and that he wasn't going to be able to convince them to leave. So he continued to wait, knowing that what he was doing was the honorable thing.

     A tako drum sounded in the distance as, in a seemingly poetic manner, sakura petals blew across the field (despite it being early autumn) to announce the arrival of Kuno Tatewaki. Rather than in his kendo uniform, the older man was dressed in a traditional black garb, designed for samurai... or executioners. And rather than his normal bokken, he was armed with a katana.

     "So the coward has crawled from his shell to accept an honorable death," Kuno sneered.

     "I fear neither you or death," Kohei replied calmly, "I have come to defend my honor against the lies you have spread about my name."

     "It shall do no good to beg for mercy now!" Kuno raised his blade.

     "You truly live within your own dreams. I said nothing about asking for mercy, yet you think I did. I fail to see how you can consider yourself an honorable man. You accuse me of the murder of a girl who lived 1,500 years ago, who fell and cursed a spring, and whose body Ranma occupied when doused with cold water. You lust after women who have promised themselves to anyone other than you. You claimed ownership of Akane when you claimed to have authority to declare that only one who defeated her in combat would be allowed to court her. Your pride and conceit must be destroyed and if I must take your life to do so, I will."

     "Are you finished confessing your crimes? Have at you!" Kuno began the duel by charging forward.

     Kohei was reading his moves like a book and simply dodged the repeated attacks, "Who is your master? His student is very undisciplined."

     "Silence! You have no right to speak against a kendo master as you do not even have a weapon!"

     Kohei simply leapt a few meters back and declared, "This is my weapon!" as he raised his forearms, his right hand clenched in a fist, left hand open, and focused his chi.


     "Genkaku no Suraisu!"


     A sword of pure human energy formed in Kohei's hands and he immediately returned Kuno's attacks. The kendoist raised his blade to parry the blow, but became defenseless as the half-Amazon's weapon sliced the blade from his.

     "You are disarmed. Do you yield?" Kohei asked, pointing his sword at Kuno's throat.

     "To the death! You are no man should you try to back out of a duel to the death!" Kuno shouted in an attempt to hurt his pride, not knowing that Kohei had none of the same arrogant pride he was filled with.

     "You are correct. A man in his natural, undisciplined state is nothing more than a wild animal who seeks after his own lusts and gratification. To simply call one a 'man' is an insult where I come from. I am a martial artist, the son of a two champions! If you wish to die so eagerly then so be it!" With his, he dissolved his blade, delivered a punch to Kuno's face to stun him, flipped over his body, withdrew a special bottle, and moved with blinding speed to execute the familiar-


     "Xi Fang Xiang Gau Shiatsu!"


     This is the only way aside from death that will convince you otherwise, Kohei thought as he applied the herbal shampoo and delivered the massage to erase portions of Kuno's memory. As the process was completed, he watched with satisfaction as the conceited swordsman fell to the ground on his face.

     "It is done," the half-Chinese/half-Japanese warrior quietly declared, "you three no longer need to hide." He didn't even turn his head as his three classmates and friends emerged.

     "Ranma," Kohei spoke again, "I erased all of his memory of your female side along with the memories of Aka-chan and Ukyo-san. He'll never chase either of you two again because he does not know who you are."

     "Using the 110 shampoo, not a bad idea," Ranma admitted.

     "I only kill if it is the only option," Kohei sighed, "it is not enjoyable to see someone die at your own hands. The duel was satisfied as I killed his memory."

     "Hey, what about the pictures he has of Ranchan's girl half?" Ukyo asked.

     "He can't chase after a girl who doesn't exist," Ranma grinned, "though he'll probably start a wild goose chase trying to find her thinking that she gave him all of those photos."

     "Wait," Akane noticed, "he's getting up."

     "Who would dare implement a sneak attack against the great Kuno Tatewaki?" Kuno rubbed his head, then caught a glimpse of the two girls. He immediately recovered and took one of their hands each, "O fair angels who hath been sent to watch over my recovery. I know not your names but I would date with both of you." As he began to deliver lines of poetry, the resulting beating was inevitable.

     "Maybe you really should have killed him," Ranma commented as he watched the girls knock Kuno into orbit.

     "I'm beginning to agree with you," Kohei sighed, then asked himself, Could there be any greater degree of idiocy from one man in this world?


The End

Author's Notes:

     -Again, this story takes place after my Ranma 1/2 fic, Results. Read it if this doesn't make sense (and it also explains why Ranma and Akane are now in-laws).

     -Not too much to say about this one, just pretty much a way for me to vent my rage against Kuno and do more development of my characters.

     -Kohei couldn't have killed Kuno otherwise he couldn't have crashed the wedding in the epilogue of Results. So he did the next best thing.