Chapter Eight

“No Need for Heartbreak”


            Pan was the happiest woman in the universe.  She had just been through a beautiful ceremony with thousands of people all coming to see her be wed to her beloved.  She still wore the wedding dress as she was carried to the honeymoon suite.  She had been content to close her eyes and nuzzle her head into the chest of her husband.  His muscles rippled  as he walked, all taught and hard.  She couldn’t wait to find out what all he could do with those muscles.


            She was carried to the bedroom and laid atop the mattress of an elegant canopy bed.  The room was all decorated in white.  The whole thing was overwhelming.  She was happier than she had ever been in her relatively short life.  Who thought that she would wed her one true love at the age of seventeen?  Who would of thought she would have found the love of a lifetime so young?


            The bed sagged as more weight was added to it.  Her smile took up most of her face as he slowly made his way up her body, trailing kisses the whole way.


            Time to make Ryeka!  She thought happily.  She opened her eyes and looked up at her new husband.


            Her eyes widened as she looked upon the shriveled body of an old man and the face of Katsuhito.






            Pan sat bolt upright on her futon in the girls’ room at the Masaki residence.  She was in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, her usual bedclothes.  Her face was soaked with sweat and she was panting heavily.  She ran a hand through her long black hair, trying to calm herself down.  Only a dream!  Only a dream!  She repeated over and over in her mind.


            The door opened and Akane and Shampoo walked over to her side.  “Is you all right?”  The lavender haired Amazon asked her tribal sister.


            Pan released a large sigh and smiled.  “I’m fine.  I just had a bad dream about being married to Katsuhito.  Imagine that!  Married to an old fossil like that.”  She chuckled at herself.


            Akane and Shampoo looked at each other, a common thought passing between their eyes (likely the only time for it to happen in a one lifetime).  Shampoo turned back to Pan.  “Old stick man is you Airen.”


            Pan threw her head back and filled the room with uproarious laughter.  “That’s a good one, Shampoo, but I’m not falling for it.  No way that old man would be MY husband.”  She started to laugh again.


            Akane’s face didn’t waver from the serious expression it had held the whole time.  “We’re not kidding.  Katsuhito defeated you in combat this morning.”


            “This morning?  But…”  She looked out the window and saw that it was late afternoon.  Her jaw dropped.  Her eyes tracked back to the two other women in the room.  “Y-You’re not kidding, a-are you?”  The two women sadly shook their heads.  Suddenly, like a flood, the memories of the morning poured her conscious mind.  The young Saiya-Jin gritted her teeth as she remembered the fight, up until the point she blacked out.  “I’LL KILL HIM!!!  THE PERVERT!!!”  Her aura leapt up around her and pushed the furniture and other occupants to the sides of the room.  Usually her aura was pure white, but today it was blood red.  She turned toward her head and found what she was looking for.  She sensed the old man in the direction of the wall with the window.  Her aura flared brighter as she took to the air…right though the wall, shattering the window.


            Akane dug herself out of the rubble of the furniture of the room, looked at the demolished wall, and then looked at Shampoo.  “What is it with Amazons and not using doors?  Is it something in the manual?”


            Shampoo shook her head and pulled out of the rubble.  “Shampoo just not like using doors.  Not know what Pan problem is.”


            “I think she’s pretty ticked about being married to Katsuhito.”


            The two girls turned to see Washu standing the doorway with a plate of food.  As they watched the seemingly young redhead took another bite.  “I guess I need to expand my architecture back up program to include the whole house.  Never had this much trouble with Ayeka and Ryoko.


            Akane and Shampoo got sheepish looks on their faces.




            Up on the hill Tenchi was sweeping the shrine steps as Katsuhito and Ranma continued to spar.  Ranma had just ducked under a punch when he felt a very angry power approaching.  “INCOMING!”  He dropped prone.


            “Huh?”  Katsuhito just stared at the martial artist as he dropped to the ground and covered his head.  His mind had been wondering the whole sparring match so he didn’t register the oncoming danger until a split second after Ranma had ducked and covered.  He turned in time to be taken off his feet by a ticked off Saiya-Jin.


            Pan, holding the man by the front lapels of his robe, rammed his head into the ground, causing surprisingly little damage.  “YOU PERVERT!!!   I’LL KILL YOU!!!  I’LL HIT YOU SO HARD YOUR GRANDKIDS WILL FEEL IT!!!”


            Tenchi cringed to the side.


            Pan hauled the man’s back off the ground with one hand and prepared to a massive haymaker with her other.  Ranma quickly rushed up and grabbed her hand.  “Hey, Pan!  Cool down!  We don’t want to destroy this place!”


            The obviously irrational Saiya-Jin turned her hand around in the grasp with the palm facing Ranma.  “Stay out of this!”  She unleashed a point-blank Ki blast into Ranma’s chest, sending him flying.


            “Pan stop!  Don’t kill grandpa!  Why do you want to kill him?”  Tenchi pleaded from the side.


            “HE KNEW!!!”  She shook the old man for emphasis.  “He knew that if any man defeated me, I’d have to marry him!  He’s just an old pervert that’s trying to get a little girl to be his little sex toy!”  Her voice clouded in hurt and hate.


            Tenchi was taken aback.  He couldn’t believe his grandfather would do such a thing.  “Grandpa, is that true?  Did you know she would have to marry you?”


            Kastuhito smiled and chuckled a bit.  He stopped and put his hand behind his head.  “I forgot.”


            Pan and Tenchi facefaulted.  The Saiya-Jin quickly recovered and grabbed the front of the old man’s shirt again. She lifted her fist up high again.  “For me, my family, my race, the planet, and for the common good, I must kill you now!”


            Her fist grew bright as she transformed into a Super Saiya-Jin.  Her eyes burned as tears began to form around them.  The fist came crashing down and landed in the ground beside the old man’s head.


            Everyone was blinded as Pan diffused the built up power in all directions, releasing it all as harmless light.


            Katsuhito could only stare in disbelief at the girl perched on top of him.  Her fist was embedded in the ground only millimeters from his ear.  Her face was looking down where her bangs were covering her eyes.  He heard choked sobs coming from the young woman.  A tear drop fell to his clothes, and then another followed shortly after.  He reached up to try and touch her face.  She turned her face aside, spilling more tears.


            She slowly stood up, withdrawing her hand from the ground beside the older man’s head.  She staggered back away from the sprawled man.  Her anguish became vocal as she took a choked breath.  She turned away from everyone and shot into the air.  Everything was shaken from the sonic booms left in her wake.


            Tenchi could only gape in disbelief.  The tough-as-nails girl that had been chasing him this whole time had just ran away crying.


            Ranma felt a stab in his heart as he saw his friend fly off, her dreams of happiness shattered.  He knew he owed a lot to her for all she had done for him and Akane.  Of course there was also the fact that he couldn’t stand to see a girl cry.  He put his index and middle finger of his right hand to his head, feeling Pan’s movement waiting for her to stop.


            Katsuhito stood and put a hand on Ranma’s shoulder.  “Tell her, that I’m sorry.  I really did forget.  It was just an old man’s pride that I fought her.”


            Ranma nodded as the older man withdrew his hand.  He felt Pan’s Ki stop about half a world away.  He felt an enormous release of Ki that he could feel without the aid of the enhanced senses of the teleportation technique.  When the power ebbed, he used the instant transmission to appear beside Pan.


            The pigtailed martial artist arrived at a desert valley.  There had been hills before Pan’s arrival, but now they were all blown away.  Only chopped off stumps stood with piles of dust blowing out from the center of the Saiya-Jin’s impact.


            He looked down at Pan.  She was curled up in the fetal position.  Her hair was disarrayed and her clothes were shredded almost to the point of indecency.  He knelt down beside her and lifted her head out of the sand.  “Are you gonna be okay?  I ain’t really good at this feelings stuff, but I’m here for my friend.”


            Pan opened her tearstained, bloodshot eyes toward Ranma’s deep blue.  She sat up and wrapped her arms around his waist and cried her eyes out into his red Chinese silk shirt.


            Ranma’s face began to turn blue.  “Too…tight…”  He tried to loosen the raven-haired girl’s arms around his midsection.


            She looked up at his words.  She instantly loosened her grip.  She could have sworn that she heard bones groan in relief.  She put her face back into his shirt and gripped with less tenacity, but she continued to cry soulful tears into the crimson garment. 


Ranma slowly hugged his friend, trying to comfort her.  “I, I’m sorry I can’t do this stuff better.  Akane would be better at this.  Want me to take you to her?”


Pan shook her head in his chest.  “Just stay like this.  Don’t move.”  Her tears continued to flow.


The pigtailed boy sighed helplessly and held the Saiya-Jin until the tears abated.  He brushed some of hair out of her face.  “He said he really did forget.  That it was just for pride that he fought you.  He said he was sorry.”


“Oh, Ranma.  What am I going to do?”  She choked a bit on the last of her sobs.  “I wasted a wish!  I wished for someone that would love me, and I got an old pervert!”


The boy chuckled nervously.  “It could have been worse.”


She glared up at him.  “How?”  She asked incredulously.


“You could have been defeated by Kuno.”


Pan couldn’t help herself.  She laughed a couple short chuckles.  “Thank you, Ranma.”


“For what?”


“For putting things in perspective.  I guess I’ll just have to find a way to get around this like you did.”


Ranma smiled.  “Hey!  I don’t want to you die!  Trust me, it hurts like hell!”


Pan laughed again.  “I won’t, but there has to be a way.  Maybe Cologne can help me.”


“You’re on your own there.  I ain’t goin’ anywhere near the old ghoul.  Especially with the trouble I went through to get rid of her in the first place.”


“Oh well, I can talk to Shampoo just as easily.”  She slowly stood up away from Ranma’s embrace.  “Heh, I guess this’ll teach me.”


“Teach you what?”


“To be careful what I wish for.”  She shook her head ruefully.


Ranma put the fingers of his right hand to his head and put his left hand on her shoulder.  “Come on.  Let’s get back to the shrine before Akane thinks I’m cheating on her.”


Pan looked up at him.  “Ranma, do you think if we had met before you were engaged to Akane that, uh, we would have…I mean, could you and I…?”


Ranma chuckled at her shy glance.  “Depends on how many other fiancés I had at the time.  Come on, let’s get back.”  Without further talk, he transported them back to the girl’s bedroom at the Masaki shrine.  He looked around at the mess.  “Now I know why you girls never want us in here.  This place is a mess!”


Her face was red in embarrassment.  “Well, it’s my fault.  I was, uh, upset when I woke up.”


Shampoo came into the room and saw Pan and Ranma standing in the ruins.  She saw that Pan had calmed down and her clothes and features were a mess.  “Aiyah!  This no do!  Proud Amazon womans no look like that!  Airen go way while Shampoo take care of sister!”


Ranma smirked.  “I’m not your airen.”  He turned and flew out of the hole that Pan had made earlier.


Shampoo put an arm around the Saiya-Jin and led her toward the baths.  “Shampoo make sure you get good bath and fix hair.  Pan show how strong Amazon womans is!”


Pan nodded her head.  “Thank you, Shampoo.”


“What is sisters for?”




Sometime later, Pan walked into the kitchen.  She was dressed in her usual red t-shirt, blue jeans, black knuckle gloves, and her hair was done up under her red bandanna.  She looked at the scene as Akane was slowly cutting vegetables with what looked like enormous amounts of concentration.  She was dressed in a yellow housedress.


Sasami looked over her shoulder with a smile on her face.  “You’re doing good, Akane.  Just concentrate and you can cook well.  Remember, you don’t have to be the best, it just has to please the ones you love.”  Akane nodded and continued to cut slowly and cautiously.


Pan was shocked to see Akane going about her cooking so slowly.  “Hey, Akane!  What’s wrong?”


Akane carefully finished cutting the carrot she was working on and swept the slices into the boiling pot on the stove.  She cautiously put the cutting board and knife back down.  “Nothing.  I just thought that maybe you all were right about my cooking being so bad.”


Pan’s jaw dropped.  “Like we would lie about that?!”


Akane dropped her head a little and opened the cabinet to get something.  The Saiya-Jin walked up and put her hand on her friend’s shoulder.  “Come on, Akane.  Your cooking is bad, but you don’t have to come down on yourself so much.  It’ll get better with practice.”


The youngest Tendo smiled back at Pan.  “Thanks.”  She reached for a bottle and moved it toward the pot.


“Wait!  Read!”  Sasami yelled.


Akane stopped and looked at the bottle.  She shook her head and put the bottle back in the cabinet and grabbed the correct one.  She carefully measured out the amount she needed and added it to the pot.  She delicately stirred the mix.  “So how are you holding up, Pan?”  She never took her eyes off the pot.


Pan took a deep breath before she spoke.  “I’m not happy about it.  In fact, I’m still pretty ticked, but I’ll find some way around it.”


“Don’t take Ranma’s way out.”


“I won’t!  Geez, everyone thinks I’m going to kill myself over this.” Pan harrumphed.


“It’s not that bad.”  Sasami smiled from where she was leaning against a counter watching over Akane.  She was dressed in one of her blue housedresses.


Pan raised a disbelieving eyebrow at the twelve-year-old.  “How can it get any worse?  Never mind, Ranma already answered that.  Why isn’t it so bad?”


“Well, he is a prince.”  The blue-haired girl answered matter-of-factly.


“Great.  I get the prince that’s a toad.”  Pan deadpanned.


“How do you know?  Have you kissed him yet?  He might turn into a handsome prince.”  Akane prodded her.


Pan screwed her face in disgust.  “How can you even suggest that, Akane!  He’s OLD!!!”


“Over seven-hundred years.”  Sasami still had her bright smile on her face.


Pan’s jaw hit the floor.  She had known that some martial artists could prolong their lives like Cologne and Happosai, but they didn’t look near as well preserved as Katsuhito.  “He’s that great of a martial artist?”  She asked disbelieving.


Sasami went over and washed her hands.  She started preparing the meat while she talked.  “I don’t know about martial arts, but he is half Jurian.  Jurians live very long lives.  Ayeka’s over seven hundred herself.”


“So how come she’s not old and wrinkly?”


Sasami took a quick sample of the broth that Akane was working on and nodded in approval.  “She lived on Jurai most of her life until she came to live with Tenchi.  Anyone who lives on Jurai can live for centuries and never age.  It’s takes several decades for Juraians to come to maturity on our home world.  That’s why I’m so glad to live here on Earth.  I get to age at the rate that humans do, and then, when I’m old enough, I’ll go home as a fully grown woman, decades ahead of time!”  She smiled.


“So why hasn’t he died yet?  It would sure solve my problems if he did.”


Sasami frowned at Pan.  “Don’t say that about my brother!  He’s a good man.  He saved Jurai from terrible danger.”


Pan raised an eyebrow.  “What?  Did he save the planet from Alzheimer’s by bringing it to Earth?”


The smaller girl pushed her lower lip out and put her hands on her hips.  “He saved Jurai from Ryoko!”


The Saiya-Jin gave the Jurian a ‘you MUST be kidding’ look.  “So he brought her to Earth so she could be a pain in OUR backsides.  Remind me to thank him by putting Icy-Hot in his diapers.”


“She used to be very evil.  She destroyed most of the Jurain fleet.  Yosho was the only one who could stand against her.  He stole her gems that gave her great power, but drove her mad.  He imprisoned her on this planet and she learned to be a better person while she was trapped in her cave by the Tenchi-Ken.”


“Yosho?”  Pan asked with a confused look on her face.


“Oops.”  Sasami put her hand over her mouth.  She thought for a second and dropped her hand.  “Well, since you’re getting married you should know.” 


Pan’s eyebrow started to twitch.  Must…not…kill…twelve…year…old…


The young princess continued on like she didn’t even notice.  “Katsuhito Masaki is really First Prince Yosho from Jurai.  He has been living as Katsuhito since he imprisoned Ryoko.  He started this shrine to watch over Ryoko and guard the Earth.”


“So why is the demon loose?  I think he’s been sleeping on the job.”  Pan crossed her arms.


“Tenchi let her loose.”  The two other girls eyes went wide.  “But it’s okay!  She’s in love with Tenchi, so she won’t do anything to hurt anyone!”


Pan pulled up her short sleeve to show a small bruise on her shoulder.  “Not hurt anyone…riiight.”


“Well, you and Ayeka can take it.”  Pan facefaulted.  Sasami went on.  “She’d never destroy the Earth or Jurai now that she’s in love with Tenchi.”


Pan lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling.  “What kind of nuthouse have we found?”


“Only the finest almonds and pistachio’s.”  Katsuhito smiled down at the Saiya-Jin on the floor.


Pan pointed up at him.  “You’re still on my list pal.  Watch it!”


The crown prince smiled and looked over at his half-sister.  “So when is dinner going to be ready Sasami?”


“It’ll be ready in a few minutes.  Akane’s finishing it up now.”


Katsuhito’s eyebrow went up.  “Really.”  He sniffed the air.  “Smells edible.”  He bent over and sniffed the pot that Akane was stirring.  “Still smells edible.”  He took a teaspoon from the side and tasted the broth.  “It’s actually good.  You’ve done well, Akane.  Ranma will be impressed.”


Akane glowed from the complement.  She looked down at Pan.  “He doesn’t seem so bad to me.”


“Okay, you take him, and I’ll take Ranma.  Deal?”


Akane smirked.  “Sorry, but I’ve got too much invested in Ranma to quit now.”


“Damn.  And here I was hoping you’d trade.”  Pan finally stood up off the floor.  She turned and grabbed the old man by the front of his robe.  “Listen Katsuhito, Yosho or whatever the heck you’re calling yourself this century.  We are NOT, I repeat, NOT going to get married!   I will find a way around this and go out and find myself a man that has less wrinkles!  YOU GOT THAT!!!”


Katsuhito just smirked.  “Yes, dear.”


“AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”  Pan threw her hands up and stormed out of the kitchen.


“Well, that wasn’t so bad.”  Katsuhito smirked as he took another sample of the broth.




Pan stamped out into the yard where Shampoo was practicing some katas.  The lavender haired Amazon stopped and turned to her sister walking out of the house.  “Sister still feel bad?”


Pan sighed.  “Yeah.  I just can’t believe my luck.”


“Maybe you just need know airen better.  Maybe he surprise.”


“Yeah, right.  Surprise how?”


“Maybe he more than seem.”


Pan rolled her eyes.  “Well, he IS a prince.”  Her voice dripped sarcasm.


Shampoo smiled.  “Then he good addition to tribe.”


“No he’s not.  He’s too old to breed!”  Pan was getting exasperated.


“Some old men surprise you.”


Pan shook her head.  “Yeah, maybe he’s a young guy disguised as an old man to fool all the women.”


Shampoo tilted her head.  “Anything could happen.”


Pan took a deep breath and looked to the heavens.  “Yeah, right.  And monkeys might fly out of my butt sideways and sing show tunes.”  As night was falling, one of the first stars winked down on the two girls.  “I’m going to hurt you Dende.  And there’s nothing dad can do to save you.”  She said it all in a calm cold voice.


The star winked out.