Dragonball R:  Wedding Daze

By: James Thomas

 

Disclaimer:  See disclaimer for Dragonball R (Shameless plug).

 

Synopsis:  What happened at Ranma and Akane’s first wedding attempt in the Dragonball R universe.

 

What went on before:  Read Dragonball R (Another shameless plug)

 

 

Wedding Daze

 

            Pan, Kasumi, and Nabiki were helping Akane get into her dress.

 

            “You mean he really said it?” Pan asked.

 

            Akane smiled and giggled.  “In front of Kami and everyone, at the top of his lungs even.”

 

            “Now I know all my hard work hasn’t been in vain.”

 

            Kasumi was fixing Akane’s hair.  “I’m so happy for you two.  It’s so great that you could finally tell each other how you feel.”

 

            Nabiki held the veil for Akane while Kasumi was fixing her hair.  “Yeah this is great!”  And profitable.  A sly grin played across the middle Tendo’s daughter.

 

            “Where’s Trunks, Nabiki?” Kasumi asked.

 

            Nabiki smiled a happier smile.  “He’s helping daddy and Genma catch Ranma.  Ever since Pan taught him how to fly, he’s been nearly impossible to catch.”

 

            “Hope they don’t overdo it.  It would be a shame if they dirtied that nice tuxedo.”  Kasumi motioned to Nabiki for the veil. She affixed it to Akane’s head.  Kasumi and everyone stepped back to admire their handiwork.

 

            Pan clapped.  “Beautiful!  I wish I were getting married!”

 

            Akane spun around.  The western style wedding dress radiated beauty and love from every seam.  “Thank you all!  I bet Ranma will be stunned!”

 

            Maybe before he sees the dress, if I know daddy’s method of capture.  Nabiki thought.

 

 

 

            High above the Serengeti in Africa, Ranma was traveling at speeds that only a super-powered man on the run for his life can.

 

            “Get back here, Ranma!!!  It’s for your own good!!!”  Trunks was in hot pursuit of the pigtailed martial artist.

 

            “No way!   Whenever pops gets that look in his eye, it’s always bad news for me!!!” Ranma pushed himself a little faster.

 

            “You don’t even know what this is about!!!”

 

            “I don’t wanna know!!!”

 

            That’s it!   Trunks thought.  Time to take him out.  In a flash, Trunks’ purple hair and blue eyes transformed into the gold hair and green pupilless eyes of the Super Saiya-Jin. With a burst of speed, Trunks caught up with Ranma and struck him with a hammerblow that sent Ranma crashing into the ground below.

 

            Ranma looked up from his crater and saw Trunks standing on the rim with his arms crossed.  “So are you going to come quietly, or do I need to rough you up some more?”  Trunks asked.

 

            Ranma clenched his fists.  “I’m not going back there for another cockamamie scheme that my father and Soun dreamed up!  Why are you sparking?”

 

            Trunks looked and noticed all the little flares on the edge of his aura.  “Damn mosquitoes!  They’re frickin’ huge out here.  But back to the point!  I’m supposed to get you back to the dojo!”

 

            “What are you getting out of this?”

 

            Trunks blushed a little bit.  “Nabiki said she’d make dinner for me.”

 

            “Not bad.  I’d pay to see that.”

 

            “So why don’t you come along quietly, and I’ll let you watch her try to cook.”

 

            Ranma shook his head and smiled.  “Sorry.  Still don’t wanna go.”

 

            “I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.”  Trunks rolled up the sleeves on his Capsule Corp. jacket. 

 

            “First you have to find me.”  Ranma faded from sight.

 

            “What the?” Trunks glanced around quickly.   “Where’d he go?”

 

            Ranma wasn’t a total idiot.  He was good, but no match going toe-to-toe with a Super Saiya-Jin.  Using the Saotome secret techniques, he killed his Ki signature and faded from sight.  Unfortunately, Ranma wasn’t watching where he was going.  He ran smack into the backside of a rhino.  The rhino wasn’t too happy about it.  The Uma-Ken-Sen technique had one fatal flaw:  It didn’t negate smell.

 

            “AHHHHHHH!” Ranma found himself being chased across the African plains by a very irate rhino!

 

            Trunks heard the yell and turned.  He saw Ranma running away from the business end of an angry rhino.  There you are.  Trunks flew around and clotheslined Ranma and pulled him up into the air before he could get a horn stuck in his rear.  A punch to the face and Ranma was out.  Now back to the dojo to get this unruly husband-to-be into his tux.

 

 

 

            Ranma awoke and looked down at himself.  “What the hell is this thing?”

 

            “It’s a tuxedo son!” Soun said from beside him.  “You have to dress appropriately for your wedding.”

 

            “My WHAT?!”

 

            Genma was standing behind him.  “Akane has consented to the wedding.”

 

            The only thing that was holding Ranma back was Trunks’ restraining hand on his shoulder.  “Come on.  You can’t run away forever!”

 

            “Watch me!” Ranma was gone in a flash.

 

           

 

            Akane heard someone coming up the steps.  Ranma threw open her door, “Hey Akane!  What’s this about you agreeing to gahh!” Ranma finally noticed her dress.

 

            She gracefully turned to him.  “Hello, Ranma.”

 

            “Agh…Gwufa?  Ooga? Whoa.” Ranma was at a loss for words.

 

            “Do you like my dress, Ranma?” Akane straightened a couple of wrinkles out.  “I guess the Japanese-style would have been better.”

 

            “No! No!  It’s cu-..uhh…Wow.  You look beautiful, Akane.”  Ranma’s heart was beating audibly.

 

            “You really think so?”  She spun around to give him a good look at her and the dress.  “I’m so glad.”

 

            Ranma started to fidget.  “Uhhh…” He had forgotten everything he was about to say.  “Um…well…y’see…uhh.”

 

            “Yes, Ranma?”

 

            “Why the sudden change of heart?”  Ranma finally got out.  “Why’d you agree to the wedding?”

 

            “Well…” Akane blushed and looked at the ground.  “You love me, right?”

 

            “Eh?” Ranma was taken aback.  “Ummm…I do?  What made you think that all the sudden?”

 

            “When you were crying over me at Josenkyo, I could’ve sworn...that y’know…you said you loved me.”

 

            Ranma’s eyes flew open wide.  I did, didn’t I.  Uhhh…think, think, think, think, think!  “I’m sure I didn’t say it out loud!”

 

            Akane was in his face.  “What’s the difference?!  I heard you say you loved me!”

 

            Ranma jumped back into a stance.  “You wanna fight about it?  It’ll ruin your pretty dress.”

 

            Akane turned and waved her hand dismissively through the air.  “Fine!  Obviously I made a mistake by pushing myself to go on with this wedding.” Akane faced Ranma again.  “But I’m warning you:  If you back out now, you’ll be sorry.”

 

            “Wha?”

 

 

 

            Soun was creeping around in one of the back rooms of the dojo.  The package had arrived that earlier that week along with a note about it’s contents.  He was trying to hide the barrel away until after the wedding.  Kasumi and Nabiki walked up behind him.

 

            Nabiki put a hand on her hip.  “Daddy, you look very suspicious.  You’re hiding something from Ranma, aren’t you?”

 

            Soun put a finger to his lips.  “Shhh!  It’s enough Nanniichuan for one.  Until the opening of the barrel at the wedding reception, Ranma isn’t going anywhere!”

 

            “Geez, daddy.  So that’s how you got Akane to agree.  And I only swindle people out of money.”

 

            Another presence crept up behind Soun.  “When were you going to tell me about it, old friend.”  Soun turned to see Genma standing behind him.  “How could you think so little of me, that I would steal from my own son?!”,  he yelled as he took the barrel and started running.

 

            Soun chased Genma through the house.  “Get him!”

 

             “Where the hell am I now?!”  Ryoga burst through the wall in time to crash into Genma and send the barrel flying.

 

            Mousse came in.  He was there to make sure that all this went off without a hitch, so that he could have Shampoo.  “Hey Ranma!  Are you going to get married or not?”  He put on his glasses in time to see the barrel flying through the air.  “Nanniichuan!”

 

            Pan flew in and grabbed it at the last instant.  “This is for Ranma!  Get away!”

 

            Ryoga, Genma, and Mousse started to creep forward with their fists opening and closing.  Pan flew up a little higher away from them.  They all had a crazed look about them.

 

            “OURS!”  They all called out and pounced at Pan.

 

           

 

            Back in Akane’s room…

 

            “They sent a barrel of Nanniichuan!  Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”  Ranma bolted for the door when he was hit in the face with an exploding okonomiyaki.

 

            “Aiya!  Shampoo aim for Akane!” Ranma saw Shampoo and Ukyou standing there as the smoke cleared.

 

            Ranma was about to recover as Kodachi sprang onto him.  She was dressed in her own black wedding dress.  “My darling, Ranma!  Are you all right?”

 

            “A wedding dress at my wedding!” Akane charged in and punched Kodachi through the wall.

 

            “How shameful!”  Ukyou shouted.  Why didn’t I think of it first!

 

            Akane turned on the chef and the Amazon.  “And you two!  Don’t you know you’re not supposed to go to a wedding you’re not invited to?”

 

            They both held up wedding invitations. 

 

            “NABIKI!!!”  Akane spun around to her sister.

 

            Trunks was standing right beside Nabiki.  He bent down and whispered into her ear.  “I told you that was a bad idea…”

 

            “Don’t worry, Trunks-Chan.  I’ll handle it.”  She whispered back.  She turned to Akane and said aloud, “But look at all the lovely gifts they brought.”

 

            “Uh…Akane?”  Ranma got up and put a hand on her shoulder.  “What the hell is going on?”

 

            “Ranma, you cur!”  Ranma dodged just in time to miss the bokken that was headed toward him.

 

            “Kuno!”

 

            “How dare you wed Akane without my permission!”  Kuno raised his sword again for another strike.

 

            Pan crashed through the wall with Ryoga, Mousse, and Genma in hot pursuit.  She had the barrel tucked under her arm like a football.  “GET AWAY! GET AWAY!  GET AWAY!”

 

            “Leave Pan and the barrel alone!”  Trunks dove in and tackled the cursed trio and carried them through the wall from which they had come.

 

            “Beautiful Pan has brought Happosai the celebratory Sake!” Happosai jumped in front of Pan’s flight path.

 

            “Ahh!  Get away, pervert!” Pan threw a Ki blast at the pervert master of Anything Goes.

 

            Happosai dodged at the last instant and managed to get a hold on the barrel.  Pan shook it furiously, trying to shake him loose.

 

            Akane was on the verge of crying as she watched her wedding become an all out brawl.  She turned in time to see another explosive okonomiyaki fly at her.  Akane yelled at it, and it exploded in mid air.  “And YOU TWO!”  Her aura flared up as she saw her rivals go into a fighting stance.

 

            Shampoo took a step backwards.  “When violent girl get so strong?”

 

            Ukyou took a step back as well.  “I don’t know, but I think we might want to beat it.”

 

            Ranma jumped up in between the girls.  “Don’t kill them, Akane!”

 

            “Why not?!  They’re ruining our wedding!”

 

            Just then the ground started to shake.  Everyone looked around in a panic. 

 

            “That wasn’t you, Akane.  Was it?” Ranma asked, his voice shaky.

 

            “That wasn’t me.”  Akane’s eyes went wide.

 

            A crash of rhinos came through the dojo, destroying everything in their path. 

 

            “Gahh!” Ranma grabbed Akane and flew straight up.  Nobody else was that lucky.

 

            The smoke cleared, and the dojo was a wreck.  Most of the people were laying about in a daze.  Except for Happosai who was sitting off in a corner polishing off the barrel of Nanniichuan.

 

            Ranma sat Akane down gently and started to walk toward the perverted dwarf, his aura leaping to life.

 

            “Water! Where’s my sake?!”

 

            Ranma grabbed Happosai by the front of his gi.  “I’ll show you sake, you little letch!”  Ranma held his open hand in front of Happosai’s face.  “Why don’t you check the moon?!”  Ranma released the pervert and fired his Ki blast.  Happosai probably would have hit the moon…if Piccolo hadn’t destroyed it years ago.

 

           

 

            A little while later Ranma and Akane were back in their normal dress sitting across the dining room table from Soun as Genma-panda played with a tire off to the side.  The patriarch of the Tendo clan sighed.  “Obviously, the wedding cannot proceed under these conditions.  As is proper lingering relationships need to be dealt with first.  We’ve decided to put off the wedding until you sort yourselves out.”

 

            Akane turned to her fiancée.  “He’s talking mostly to you, y’know.”

 

            Ranma turned back to face her.  “It’s just as much your fault too.”

 

 

           

            Later that night Akane was trying to sort through the rubble of the dojo.  Everyone else had already gone to bed for the night.  Ranma flew down and landed beside her.  “I’m sorry, Akane.  I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

 

            “You didn’t even want it to happen at all.”

 

            Ranma’s shoulders dropped.  “I…did want it to happen.”

 

            Akane spun around on him.  “No, you didn’t!”

 

            Ranma rose up his fists and then quickly dropped them.  “Akane.  Why don’t we start over?”

 

            “What do you mean?”

 

            “Start from scratch.  Let’s just try getting to know each other and forget about the arranged marriage business.”

 

            “How do you propose we do that?”

 

            Ranma walked up to her and held out his hand.  “Hi.  I’m Saotome Ranma.  I have this curse that makes me turn into girl when I’m splashed with cold water.  I turn back with hot.  I’m really a guy.”

 

            Akane took his hand.  “Nice to meet you.  I’m Tendo Akane.  I’m the best martial artist at my school, but I have a bit of a temper.”

 

            They shook hands as Ranma bit back his comments.  Ranma took a deep breath.  “You want to go out for dinner sometime?”

 

            Akane smiled back at him.  “I’d like that.”

 

            “I have an idea that may help you guys.”

 

            They turned and saw Pan leaning on the doorway.

 

            “What is that?”  Akane asked.

 

            “If you’re going for a fresh start, why don’t you go to a new place?”

 

            “Like where?” Ranma turned to face her.

 

            “How about Juuban?  My uncle owns a dojo there.  I’m sure we can stay with him and go to school there.  No fiancées, no pushy fathers, and no mad kendoists.”

 

            “I think that’s a great idea!” Akane clapped her hands together.  “Don’t you think, Ranma?”

 

            Ranma nodded his head.  “Sounds like a plan to me.”

 

            “Great.  I’ll call him tomorrow and make arrangements.  I’ll leave you two alone, but don’t stay out too late.”  Pan turned and went back into the house.

 

            “Ranma, there’s one thing I really want to know.”

 

            Ranma tensed up.  “Yeah, what is that?”

 

            “Where did the rhinos come from?”