“So I met this really cute guy. He’s so brave and strong, but I don’t know how he feels about me.”
“Growlf.”
“I mean he is nice to me, and he’s teaching me a lot of stuff, but he’s not very open with his feelings.”
“Growlf?”
“Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be such a coward and just ask him, but it’s hard sometimes. It’s the guy’s job to start things, isn’t it?”
“Growlf!”
“Of course it is, but it could take him forever to start anything. Maybe I should try to take him on a date or something and just not tell him it’s a date.”
“Growlf?”
“Oh I wouldn’t worry about him figuring it out. He’s pretty oblivious to these kind of things.” Videl stood up off the park bench and brushed out her outfit. “Well, thanks for listening. I let you get back to work.”
Seated beside her was a very large panda. He had a sign next to his feet that read, ‘Feed the hungry Panda…or just donate money.’
Videl looked off into the distance. “Look out, Ranma. Here I come!”
The panda’s eyes went wide. He jumped off the bench and was standing in front of her before she even knew what had happened. He was holding a new sign that read, ‘Ranma’s all wrong for you!’
Videl’s face was in a classic, ‘what the?’ expression. “How would you know?”
The sign turned. ‘He’s a terrible person! You should send him back on his way!’
Videl’s face quickly shifted to anger. “What do you know?! You’re just a stupid panda!” She reared back, kicked the panda into the fountain in the middle of the park, and walked off in a huff.
A little while later, Ranma-Chan and Videl walked into an ice cream parlor. Videl seemed a little miffed. “Why did you have to change into a girl?”
Ranma-Chan rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? A guy can’t be seen eating ice cream!”
“My dad does it all the time.”
“But he doesn’t do it in public!”
Videl shook her head. “I guess you have a point there. I always have to get the ice cream for him.”
“See!”
“I give up.”
A few moments passed and Ranma-Chan was shoveling down the ice cream like there was no tomorrow. “Mmmm!!! This is good!” She flagged down the waiter and pointed to an extremely delicious looking sundae. “I’d like one of these next!”
Videl was still on the first bites of her first bowl. “You should slow down.”
Ranma-Chan gave her a surprised look. “Why’s that?”
Videl started ticking off reasons on her fingers. “One, it’s not very lady like. Two, you could make yourself sick. Three, it’s just plain rude!”
Ranma-Chan started ticking back. “One, I’m a guy. Two, I don’t get sick. Three, who cares?”
Videl rolled her eyes. “Ranma! Right now you’re a girl, and you REALLY need to learn some social graces! Didn’t your mom teach you anything?”
Ranma-Chan’s shoulder’s slumped. “I never really knew my mom.”
Videl’s eyes became sympathetic. “I’m sorry. Did she pass away?”
The redhead shrugged. “I don’t know. Pops never talked about her. I know I had to have had a mother to be here, but I never got to know her.”
Videl’s face took on a shade of sadness as well. “Maybe it’s better. I did get to know my mother, it just made losing her that much more painful.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died of cancer a few years ago. I miss her a lot.”
Ranma-Chan reached over and put a hand on Videl’s. “Hey, at least you got to know her, even if it did hurt more. I always have to wonder what my mother woulda been like and what she might have thought of me.”
Videl smiled. “I imagine she’d be proud of you.”
Ranma-Chan sat back in her chair and blinked. “Y’think so?”
“Absolutely! Who wouldn’t be proud of the second strongest martial artist in the world?” She winked at the pigtailed girl.
Ranma-Chan laughed. “I have no idea why you’re convinced that your dad is the most powerful in the world, but if you think that my mom would be proud, then I’m glad.”
The two girls laughed a while as a third walked up. “What’s up, Videl? Who’s your friend?” Ireeza asked.
Videl looked up at the blonde. “This is R…uh, Pan. Pan, meet Ireeza.”
Ranma-Chan waved in mid ice cream scoop and continued eating.
Ireeza regarded the redhead. How does she stay so trim eating like that? “So where are you from, Pan? I don’t remember seeing you at school.”
Before Ranma-Chan could say anything, Videl answered. “She’s one of my old friends from before we moved here.”
Ireeza noticed the redhead’s pigtail. “That pigtail looks just like Ranma’s! Do you know Saotome Ranma?”
The redhead almost choked. “Yeah, uh, he’s my brother.”
A sly smile crept across the blonde’s face. “Reeeaaally. So that’s why you’re here Videl. Trying to kiss up to Ranma’s sister to try and get him for yourself.”
Videl almost choked at that one. “It’s not like that!” I’m trying to kiss up to Ranma himself!
“Right. Uh-huh. Then you won’t mind if I join you then. Move over.” Videl scooted over in the booth to let the blonde have the aisle seat. “So, Pan! Tell me all about that dream boat brother of yours.” She gave the redhead a wide grin.
Ranma-Chan did choke on that one. “Cough, ack!” Kami, I wish something would happen to get me out of this!
CRASH! A section of the wall to the ice cream shop crashed down.
Ranma-Chan looked to the heavens. Thank you!
“Ranma, die!”
Ranma-Chan scowled at the heavens. I hate you.
Standing there in the fresh hole in the wall stood a girl in a purple outfit with long lavender hair done up in odangos holding two bombari. She pointed one of the weapons at Ranma-Chan. “Die!” She charged forward.
Ranma-Chan leapt out of the way of the oncoming weapon. “Yo, Shampoo! Can’t we just talk about this?”
“DIE!!!” She took another swing.
Ranma-Chan rolled under the blow and came up next to an empty table. She whipped the table cloth off the table and threw it over Shampoo’s head.
Shampoo ripped the tablecloth off her head. “DIE!!!” She blinked twice when she saw that her prey was nowhere to be found. She turned to Videl. “Where she go?”
Videl was still a little shell-shocked. She dumbly pointed out the hole in the wall. “She went that way?”
“RANMA, I KILL!!!” Shampoo charged through the hole and out into the street.
Ireeza just stared wide-eyed. “Where did Pan go? And why was that girl calling her Ranma?”
Videl laughed nervously. “I’m sure it’s a long story. I’ll go try and find Pan and find out.”
Ireeza narrowed her eyes. “Just as long as you tell me all about it.”
“Heh, heh. Sure.” Videl had a fake smile on her face.
“Yeah. Just make sure you don’t forget to tell me about it.” She walked out of the ice cream parlor.
Videl walked over and knocked on a freezer that had been knocked over when Shampoo made her entrance. “She’s gone.”
The door flew open to reveal a cramped Ranma-Chan. “Thank goodness.”
“What? Aren’t you going to thank Kami?”
“We’re not speaking right now.”
“So why was she after you?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Who’s going to pay for all this mess?!” The shopkeeper bawled. He turned to Ranma-Chan. “She a friend of yours? I demand you pay for the damage she did!”
Ranma-Chan grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him down to eye level. “She’s NOT my friend, and I’m NOT paying for NOTHING! SHE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!”
Videl walked up to the shopkeeper. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the bill.”
The shopkeeper realized who it was. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was you. Don’t worry about it. I’m just honored to have you in my store.”
As they were walking away Ranma-Chan turned to Videl. “So why does everybody act so nice around you?”
“Oh, you know. I know a lot of people. So how do you know that girl?” She quickly changed the subject.
Ranma-Chan explained about the Amazon village and the tournament that he accidentally ate the first prize for. So he challenged the champion to battle so the prize would be rightfully hers. She won no problem, but then the Amazon warrior administered the kiss of death, a vow that she would hunt Ranma-Chan down until she was dead. “So she’s been chasing me all over China trying to kill me.”
“Now she tracked you down to Japan. So why haven’t you just taken her out?”
“And risk having the entire Amazon tribe coming down on me? I don’t think so!”
“Good point. Well here.” Videl tossed Ranma-Chan a thermos. “At least change back into a guy first.”
“Okay.” She upended the thermos and turned back into a he. “Yeah, well. I just need to get rid of her.”
“Ranma, I kill!”
Ranma jumped back as a bombari lodged itself into the ground where he was standing. “Leave me alone!”
Shampoo looked at Ranma with a confused glance. She ran her hands over his chest. “Is man?”
“Yeah, I’m a guy.” Ranma scratched the back of his head.
“What’s going on Ranma?” Videl asked.
Shampoo looked at her. “Ranma? You call him Ranma?” She turned back to Ranma. “Where girl-type Ranma?”
Ranma pointed back the way they had come. “She went dat-a-way.”
Shampoo scowled. “I no fall for that twice!” She turned to Videl. “Where girl-type Ranma? You with her last!”
“I don’t know where she could be.” Videl tried to look innocent.
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. “You is obstacle and obstacle is for killing! Hai-Ya!” Shampoo swiped at Videl. Videl dodged to the side.
Ranma puffed up. “Hey! Leave her alone!”
“RANMA!!!” Videl yelled at him.
“What?”
“Stop babying me! I can handle this!”
Ranma was flabbergasted for a second and then regained his composure. “But!”
“Butt, out! Just let me fight her!”
Ranma backed down. “Okay, but I’m coming in if you get yourself hurt.”
Videl looked at him with a small smile. He does care and he’s starting to trust me! “Don’t worry about me.”
“Hey! Forget something?”
Videl turned to Shampoo as she made another lunge at her. Videl dodged and managed to get a blow in to Shampoo’s gut. Shampoo shrugged it off and continued her assault.
As fight went on, Ranma was amazed. “Wow. Guess all that training I’ve been doing with her is really paying off. She’s not bad. She might actually pull this off.”
They fought each other to a standstill, neither one giving ground. Finally, Shampoo got careless and overextended herself on a thrust to Videl’s midsection. Videl sidestepped, grabbed the bombari and pulled Shampoo down on her face. She delivered a stunning blow to the back of Shampoo’s neck. “There! Now leave us alone!”
Ranma clapped from the sidelines. “I’m impressed. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
Videl beamed at him. “It comes from having a good teacher.”
They walked off as Shampoo was recovering. I must give her the kiss of death! She slowly got to her feet and began to follow them.
As Ranma and Videl were arriving at the Satan mansion, Ranma stopped at the gates as Videl made her way to the front door. “Is daddy around?” She whispered the butler.
The butler gave her a conspiratory smile. “Not at all miss. Your friend may come in.”
Videl waved and Ranma walked up toward the front door. Just as he was halfway through the yard, a shadow passed over him. He realized that it was Shampoo, and she was heading straight for Videl! Ranma saw the Amazon stretch out her hands to try and capture Videl with her hands. She’s going for the kiss of death! Ranma charged forward and kicked Shampoo out of mid-air and sent her reeling on the grass. She struck head first and was knocked unconscious. Videl gave Ranma a stern look. “What?” He responded. “You’re still tired! Besides, she’s my problem!”
Videl took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll let it slide this time.”
Shampoo got back to her feet and shook her head clear. “Ranma?”
“Oh crap!” Ranma started stepping backwards.
Videl clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh no! Now she’s going to be after his guy half!”
Ranma backed away a couple more steps as Shampoo followed him like a zombie. He waved his hands in front of himself. “Hey! You didn’t lose! Honestly! It was an accident!”
Shampoo stalked up to him and then fell forward. Ranma rushed forward to catch her before she hit the ground. She put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. “Wo ai ni.”
“What?” Ranma tried to pull back from her, but she hauled him down and planted a large kiss on his lips.
“Gah!!!” Videl shouted. “Get your hands off my man!” She charged in and pulled the tired Amazon off of Ranma. “Leave him alone.” Ranma just stood there dumbly.
Shampoo looked past Videl at Ranma. “Wu da airen!”
“What?”
“She said, ‘my beloved husband’ and ‘the one I love’ before that.” The butler called out.
Videl looked at him. “I never knew you spoke Chinese.”
“You never asked.”
Shampoo made another attempt to come at Ranma but passed out from exhaustion.
Ranma scratched the back of his head. “Well. At least she stopped.”
Videl shook her head. “I’m thoroughly confused now. Why did she say that stuff?” She came Ranma an accusing glare.
“Hey! I’m just as surprised as you!” Ranma tried to wave her off.
The butler cleared his throat. “Well, we’ll never find out until she comes to. I’ll take her inside and maybe once she wakes she’ll be more liable to listen to reason.” He picked her up and carried her inside the mansion.
Later, after Shampoo was up and around again, the butler showed her out to the back yard where Ranma and Videl were waiting with arms crossed. Ranma gave her a stern glare. “So what’s this all about? Why you calling me your husband?”
Shampoo gave him a brilliant smile and pulled out a book labeled, ‘Amazon Tribal Law’.
Videl grabbed it and flipped through it. “It’s all in Chinese!”
Ranma grabbed it. “Maybe there’s a Japanese side.”
The butler shook his head and grabbed the book and began reading. “Well, it seems if an Amazon warrior is defeated by a woman from the outside, the warrior must give the kiss of death and kill her immediately. If the outsider is male, then she must marry him and join his blood into the tribe.”
Ranma blinked. He smacked his forehead. “This is just GREAT!”
Shampoo sauntered over to him. “Airen come back to China with Shampoo, yes?”
Ranma backed away. “No way!”
She started to turn on her purple-red eyes on him, stunning mode. “Shampoo make good wife for you.”
Ranma was starting to feel the effects of the eyes. “I…I…I can’t marry you!”
Shampoo crossed her arms. “Why not?”
“Because…because…uh…because.”
“He’s already got a fiancé!” Videl shouted.
“Yeah! I’ve already got a fiancé!” His eyes went wide as he realized what he had just said.
The butler raised an eyebrow. The young miss certainly moves fast…
Videl walked up and put her arms around Ranma. “Just play along.” She whispered into his ear.
Shampoo was aghast. “But…” Her eyes narrowed when she saw the lack of response in Ranma. “You not really fiancés.”
Ranma’s eyes widened in panic. “S…sure we are.” He clumsily put his arms around Videl. Videl smiled despite herself.
Shampoo still wasn’t convinced. “Prove it. Give kiss!”
“Kiss?” Ranma was really panicking now.
Videl looked at him from his arms, a hint of tears in her eyes. “It’s okay, Ranma.” She whispered to him. “If you don’t like me, then just do it to get rid of her.”
Ranma’s shoulders slumped. “But…but I do…uh…like you.”
Videl looked up at him, the tears turned to happiness. “Really?”
“Sure.” He brought her face up. They shared a long passionate kiss.
Just then thousands of flashes surrounded them. Reporters were coming out of the woodwork, behind bushes and over the back walls. “What the?” Ranma shouted.
The butler had an irate look on his face. “I knew I should have let the dogs out!”
They were all swarming the couple. “Who are you?” “Is it true that you’re getting married?” “Where are you from?” “Where did you two meet?” The reporters went on as Ranma and Videl took several steps back.
“Let’s get outta here!” Ranma grabbed Videl and leapt over and away from the reporters.
Shampoo crossed her arms and sneered. “Is not over obstacle girl. Not by long shot.”
In one of the bars in the center of town, Saotome Genma was downing another round of Sake. “Ungrateful boy! He should have shown himself by now! Who was that girl that knew him?”
“…and here’s the scene of the young man’s daring leap over the Satan mansion wall with his fiancé Videl in his arms…” The TV above the bar continued the story.
Genma looked up in time to see a boy with a pigtail leap over the wall in his school’s distinctive style and the face of the girl that he had seen earlier in the park looking back at the camera. “Ranma!!! You shame your father! It is now up to your father to bring you back to your true obligations. You can’t marry some girl when you’re supposed to marry one of the daughters of Tendo!”