Ranma carried Videl several blocks away from her estate. He leapt up to the top of the tallest building in the area and set Videl back down on her feet. “You okay?”
“Peachy.” She started looking at the ground, deep in thought.
“Okay.” Ranma turned to leave her to her thoughts. He walked to the edge of the roof and stared out over the city. Look at the view! Everything always looks better from above, more peaceful. I guess from a distance anything could look good. I can even see our high school from here. I wonder what Joe Average is doing today. I wonder what a normal teenager would be doing right now. “Hey, Videl. Ever wonder…?” He paused when he saw Videl still staring at the ground. “What’s wrong?” Did I upset her with the kiss?
Videl started turning circles in the roof with the toe of her right foot. “Ranma…uhm…do you like me?”
Ranma smiled at her. “Of course I like you. You’re a good fighter and a great friend.”
Videl cringed a bit at the mention of friend. “I mean: do you LIKE me?”
The pigtailed martial artist scratched his head. “Isn’t that what I just told you?”
Videl looked up at him with a slight hurt look on her face. He only thinks of me as a friend. “No. I mean as…you know…”
“Know what?” Ranma was serious confused.
“As…as something other than a friend?” Videl looked up at him hopefully.
Ranma almost took a step back. All his instincts were telling him to bolt, but his mind was telling him to stay. “What do you mean?”
Videl shook her head. Come on, girl. It’s now or never, the moment of truth. You have to tell him outright. You can’t keep beating around the bush, and you know why. He’s told you the story often enough, raised only by a father that only had him think about martial arts. Anything about feelings you’re going to have to spell out. She steeled herself. “Ranma, do you like me like as a woman.”
A faint bit of realization came to Ranma’s mind. He thought he knew what this was about but he wasn’t sure. “Uh…Yeah…I guess.”
Videl’s shoulders slumped over. “I should have realized you didn’t like me. I’m sorry I forced myself on you back there.” She started to turn around and walk toward the edge of the roof.
She thinks she forced herself on me? Ranma leapt forward and grabbed her arm. “Hey! I said I like you, don’t that mean nothing to you?”
“It’s, ‘doesn’t that mean anything to you’, and yes, it does. You only like me as a friend and nothing else.” Tears started to well up in her eyes.
Ranma put his free hand on her other shoulder. “I don’t…uh…only think of you as a friend. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gone along with the whole fiancé thing.”
The corners of Videl’s lips started to curl upwards. “I’m glad.” Money question now. Don’t lose your nerve now girl. “Do you love me?”
Ranma took an involuntary step back. “I…uh…don’t…uh…really know…I mean…oh man.” He slapped his hand to his brow.
“What?” Videl tried to look into his eyes.
“I’ve never been good with this type of stuff. I don’t want to hurt you.” He dropped his hand and started staring at his feet.
Videl smiled and brought her hand to his chin and pulled his head up to where she could see his eyes. “It’s okay. I understand. From what you’ve told me about your dad he’s always forbade you from feeling like this. I can tell he tried to drive all soft feelings out of you. It’s not your fault. Also, just because you say you love me doesn’t mean we’ll run off and get married this instant. We’ve still got our whole lives ahead of us.” At least we don’t have to get married until after high school…
Ranma looked into her eyes and tried to sort out all these funny feelings he was having. She was an excellent student, a good friend, and a great person. Maybe he loved her, but what if he didn’t? Only time would tell. She’s right. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. He made a decision and thought long about how he was going to say it. Finally he came up with a way. “Videl, I…uh…I’m not sure if I l-love you, but can I stick around you until I find out if I do or not?”
Videl fought bravely to keep her emotions in check, but failed miserably as she jumped and put her arms around his neck and held him close. “As long as you want! As long as you want. Just one thing.”
Ranma nervously eyed her. “What?”
“Can we still be fiancés?”
Ranma started sweating. “Uh…um…I don’t know…”
Videl smiled at him. “At least as far as a purple haired Amazon is concerned?”
Ranma chuckled as the meaning set in. “Sure.”
The next day at school they had to dodge twice the usual barrage of reporters to get to the gates. Ranma turned to Videl. “Why don’t we ever just take the back way in?”
Videl shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because we never thought of it before?”
Ranma snorted. “Wise guy.” He walked a few more steps before being bowled over by Ireeza. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Say it isn’t so!” The blonde pleaded.
“What do you mean?” Ranma tried to push the blonde off of him.
Ireeza got up and pulled a newspaper from her bag that showed Ranma and Videl locked in their kiss. “Are you two really getting married?”
Videl helped Ranma to his feet and got a mischievous smirk on her face. “You got it. We’re getting married right after graduation. Right honey?” She put her arms around Ranma.
Ranma was starting to sweat profusely. “Y-yeah…s-sure.”
Ireeza rolled her eyes. “You could have just told me it was a misprint.” She deadpanned. “I’ll see you guys in class.” She turned and walked to the building.
Videl was laughing so hard she had to hold onto Ranma to keep from rolling on the ground. Ranma’s eyes narrowed. “I thought we were just doing the fiancé act for Shampoo.”
“I couldn’t help myself.” She said between laughs. “She’s been stealing my boyfriends since we were little. This was the perfect revenge.”
Ranma shook his head. “I doubt I’d date her. She makes me feel…”
Videl stopped laughing and looked into his eyes. “What? Repulsed? Nauseated?”
“Like a piece of meat.”
Videl started laughing again.
“SAOTOME PREPARE TO DIE!”
Ranma didn’t even have to turn around. He kicked directly behind him and caught a charging Shyapuna in the stomach, doubling him over. “Dude, just give it up. You’ll never beat me.”
The muscle-bound blonde man stood upright and brought his fist back to punch. “I’ll show you!” He face collided with Ranma’s fist.
Ranma still hadn’t looked backward. He brought his hand back from over his shoulder. “We really don’t have time for this. Come on, ‘honey’, we need to get to class before you die from laughter.
Videl put an arm over his shoulders and started walking with him to the front of the school. It looked like Ranma was carrying a wounded person the way Videl was doubled over in laughter. She only made it to class because Ranma practically carried her.
The day proceeded routinely until around lunchtime. Ranma and Videl sat down in the cafeteria and were preparing to open their bentos when a section of the wall to their right collapsed. Shampoo was dressed in a pink and purple Chinese dress that just barely covered the important parts, but still left little to the imagination. She strode forward and put a large bowl of freshly cooked beef ramen in front of Ranma. “Shampoo come bring airen too too delicious lunch! You eat now, yes?”
Ranma raised an eyebrow. “Yo, Shampoo. Nice to see you again. Ever heard of doors?” All his words were dripping with sarcasm.
The Amazon smiled at him. “Shampoo come and show how good wife she make.”
Videl latched onto Ranma’s arm in an instant, her sweet and sour pork long forgotten. “He’s my fiancé! How many time do we have to tell you that!”
Shampoo glared at the daughter of Mr. Satan. “You obstacle, and obstacles are for killing!” She reached out her hands, grabbed Videl’s head, and brought her face toward Videl’s.
Ranma slapped Shampoo’s hands away. “None of that! No kiss of death while I’m around!”
Shampoo looked at Ranma with an imploring look. “But is way of Amazon womans! Airen will learn soon.”
Videl stood up. “All right hussy! You, me, outside, NOW! We’re going to settle this once and for all!”
Shampoo sneered at her. “Definitely. Shampoo no underestimate you again.”
Videl and Shampoo marched out of the hole that Shampoo had made her entrance through. Ranma looked down at his still half full bento. “Damn.” He shoveled the rest down at light speed and ran after them.
Ranma rounded a corner and found Videl face down on the lawn. He ran to her side, turned her over, and brought her to a sitting position. “Videl? VIDEL?!?!”
She blinked her eyes and slowly came around. She looked Ranma in the eyes and blinked. “Who are you?”
Ranma’s eyes grew several sizes. “Don’t you remember me? I’m Ranma.”
She tilted her head and tried to think. I’m sure I’d remember such a cute boy. By the feel of his muscles he has to be athletic. “Are you a martial artist?”
Ranma smacked himself on the head. “You’ve got…what’cha ma call it…amnesia! Do remember anything about your fight with Shampoo?”
She thought a second. “I followed her out into the courtyard, and then nothing.” She got up and ran her fingers through her short hair. “I must have been knocked out, but I feel amazingly refreshed.” She started to walk away.
Ranma caught up to her. “Hey! We need to get you some help!”
Videl turned to him. “Hello. What’s your name?”
Ranma slapped his forehead. “I’m Ranma! The guy who’s training you and living at your house!”
Videl shook her head. “Daddy trains me, and he’d never let me bring a boy home. He’s terribly protective of me. He’d have a heart attack if he found you at home. That is, after he killed you he’d have a heart attack.”
Ranma’s pigtail stood straight up as he started to tense up in frustration. “Listen! I’m Ranma! Remember, the guy who stopped the robbery?”
Videl rubbed her chin in thought. Now where have I seen him before? She snapped her fingers. “I know! You’re from Italy!”
“That’s Roman!”
She thought for a little bit more. “You’re that noodle dish!”
Ranma smacked himself on the forehead again. “That’s Ramen!”
“That obscure Nirvana album?”
“That’s Roma!”
“The Muslim holiday?”
“That’s Ramadan!”
Videl got a disgusted look on her face. “You’re one of those nasty people aren’t you?”
Ranma facefaulted and stood back up. “That’s raunchy! Listen! I’m RAN-MA! Don’t you remember anything?”
“Who are you again?”
Ranma calmly walked over to a lamppost and started beating his head against it.
Videl walked up behind him. I wish I could remember. He seems so nice. “You shouldn’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself.”
An idea came to Ranma. He dragged Videl to the water hose attached to the faucet on the side of the school building. He turned the hose on and turned the end on himself. The inevitable transformation ensued. “Now do you remember?” Ranma-Chan asked.
Videl’s hand shot up to cover her mouth. “You’re a cross dresser?!”
Ranma-Chan threw her hands up in defeat. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”
Videl gave the redheaded girl a sympathetic look. “I don’t know who you are, but you look like you need some help.”
Ranma-Chan grabbed two handfuls of hair. “I’m the one who needs help?! You’re the one who can’t remember me!”
“We’ve obviously never met.”
“We have so! I’ll prove it!” She started to think. “I know you’re rich.”
Videl crossed her arms. “Everybody knows that. Try again.”
“Your dad has a secret craving for ice cream.”
Videl shook her head. “Everybody knows that too. He’s the only one that keeps that illusion up.”
Ranma-Chan scratched her head. “There is a name you gave my girl side. It was Pan. You wouldn’t tell me why you gave me that name.”
She looked shock. “I’ve never told anybody that!”
Ranma began to get excited. “See! See! Now do you remember anything else?”
Videl’s features went blank. “Who are you again?”
“AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!” Ranma-Chan begun to pull her hair in frustration.
Videl started to walk off. “Well, It was nice to meet you, whoever you are. Hope to see you again.” She turned and strode away.
Ranma-Chan shook her head and started to slowly follow the black haired girl. What happened? Did Shampoo hit her that hard? In the middle of his musing, a hand grabbed her shoulder. Ranma-Chan grabbed the hand by instinct and hurled the would-be attacker into the nearest wall. “Not going to be that easy, pervert!”
The would-be attacker stood up and rubbed his head. “Ungrateful boy!”
Ranma-Chan double-blinked. “Pops? Where you been?”
The older Saotome clenched his fist and shook it at his ‘boy’. “Living on the streets trying to find my ungrateful son! You don’t know how I’ve suffered searching for you!”
Ranma-Chan walked up to her father and sniffed his clothes. “Hmmm…cigarette smoke…*sniff* *sniff*…alcohol…I’ll tell you right now you were searching in the wrong places.”
“Ingrate! I’ll teach you how to respect your elders!” Genma rolled up his sleeves.
Ranma-Chan raised an eyebrow in a ‘you must be kidding me’ look. “Yeah, right. Listen, pops, I’d love to play, but I’ve got more important things to do than deal with you now.”
Genma crossed his arms. “Like chase after that girl. I tell you it’s for the best she forgets you. You’ve stayed here long enough. We need to finish our journey.”
Ranma-Chan eyed him with a look of curiosity. “I thought you said we were done.”
“We still haven’t reached our ultimate destination!” Genma looked off to the east.
Ranma-Chan thought for a second and remembered that they were headed for some dojo when they were sidetracked. He also remembered his father’s words. “The site of my greatest adventure?”
“You’ve got it.” The elder Saotome smiled at his private joke.
Ranma-Chan’s head throbbed for some unknown reason. “Listen pops, this is more important to me than some scam you’ve got cooked up for yourself. I’ve got to figure out what that purple-haired psycho did to her.”
Genma started to sweat. “It’s hopeless boy. You already know that she won’t remember you.”
Ranma-Chan narrowed her eyes. “You know something, don’t you?”
Genma was sweating profusely. “Yes. That we should be on our way.”
Ranma-Chan hauled the older man’s head to her eye level by his ear. “You tell me what happened before I give you a tummy tuck with my bare hands and no anesthetic.” She formed her free hand in a claw and grabbed a wad of her father’s stomach and pulled hard.
“That hurts, boy!” Genma cried.
Ranma-Chan pulled harder. “Tell me!”
“AHHHH!!!” Genma cried out in pain as Ranma-Chan began to twist the distended flesh.
“Spill it, pop!” Ranma-Chan’s patience was running out.
“Okay! I’ll tell!” Ranma-Chan let go and the flesh drew back with a snap. “Ouch!” Genma composed himself and pushed his glasses up on his face. “I’ll remember it until my dying day. The girl was chasing Shampoo out of the school. Shampoo leapt over a fence and the other followed. Just as the other girl landed, Shampoo came up behind her, and, with a burst of speed, the girl’s haired was washed and rinsed in seconds.”
Ranma-Chan facefaulted. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
Genma smacked his son over the head. “Stupid boy! It’s the dreaded attack! The Xi Fang Go Shiatsu Technique!”
Ranma-Chan’s jaw dropped. “The Xi Fang Go! Of Course!” She closed her jaw. “What the hell’s a Xi Fang Go?”
“It’s a technique feared throughout history that causes anyone to forget whatever the inflictor chooses. It’s a very powerful and mysterious technique.”
Ranma-Chan was getting excited. “So how can I cure it!”
Genma chuckled and puffed up. “I don’t know.”
Ranma-Chan facefaulted. She got back up and made her hand into a claw again. “Speak now tubby! Or forever lose your stomach!”
“I’m telling you the truth boy. I only know of the technique, not how it’s performed or how to cure it.” Genma pushed his glasses back on his face. “It’s just as well. We must be leaving.”
Ranma-Chan clenched her fists. “I’m not leaving! I have to stay! It’s a matter of honor!”
Genma harrumphed. “It’s a matter of honor that you come along with me to Nerima. Our family is depending on you, boy!”
Ranma-Chan eyed him speculatively. “What are you talking about?”
Genma smiled. Good a time as any to tell the boy. “You are to come with me to marry one of the daughters of my best friend Soun Tendo. You and your bride will carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.”
Ranma-Chan’s aura began to show, glowing red as the redhead quaked in anger. “You…engaged me…to some…stranger?”
Genma didn’t even look at his son. “Not so strange. They are the daughters of my best friend. I’m sure they turned out to be great stock for an excellent bride.”
Ranma-Chan’s veins were popping out on her head. “You engaged me to someone I don’t even know?!”
“That’s right. It will be great to see my son married and carrying on the art. Then I can retire knowing I have done my duty.”
Ranma-Chan’s fist clenched and her knuckles turned white. “You’re planning to live off me and my teaching at the school, am I right?”
Genma nodded. “Right. Everything will be easy from this day forth.”
“NO THANKS!” Ranma-Chan hauled off and launched Genma into the air with all her strength and then some, propelling him into the wild blue yonder. “You wanted to go east so bad! WHY DON’T YOU FLY?!?! I could never betray Videl like that!” She stopped herself. “Did I just say that?” She looked around to see if anyone had heard him. No one was around. “Okay. I’ve got to find Shampoo and have her give me the cure, whatever it is. I have to get Videl to remember me!” She leapt to the nearest roof and began making rounds about the city.
Towards early evening, she finally spotted her target. She was smiling from ear to ear, enjoying the end of a pleasant afternoon in the park, dreaming about her future husband. Ranma-Chan landed in front of her. “Shampoo! Give me the cure to the Xi Fang Go!”
Shampoo looked up with a little irritation that swiftly changed to rage. “Ranma! I KILL!!!” She pulled her bonbari from nowhere and started to swing at Ranma-Chan.
The red-haired girl dodged frantically. Knew I forgot something! She ran out of the park and toward the center of town. She ducked in and out of a few alleys and managed to shake her pursuer. She looked around, trying to find a place for warm water. She spotted a Ramen stand and went over to it. “Hot water please!”
The vendor looked at her strange. “You want tea with that?”
“No, just the water.” She smiled a nervous smile as she made a quick check up north and south.
“Here you go.” The vender gave her a Styrofoam cup with a plastic lid.
Ranma-Chan started digging in her pockets, hoping to find loose change. “How much?”
The vendor smiled. “For a pretty girl like you? It’s on the house.”
Ranma-Chan chuckled nervously. “Uh, thanks.” She walked away from the stand and ducked into an alley. Who knew I could get free stuff with this curse? She upended the water on her head and returned to male form. “Okay. Shampoo should be catching up to me in 3…2…1…”
CRASH!!! The wall beside Ranma fell, revealing a lavender haired Amazon. “Where is Girl-type Ranma?” She muttered to herself. She spotted the now male Ranma. “Airen!” She glomped onto him.
Ranma tried to remove the new growth on his chest that was squeezing the life out of him. “Hey, Shampoo! *cough* I was just looking for you.”
“You give up obstacle girl and decide come China with Shampoo!” Shampoo beamed.
Ranma really took notice of Shampoo. All this time, and I never noticed her as a girl before. She really is cute. He shook his head. I can’t think about her. I have to think about Videl. “Not quite. I’d really like a cure.” Ranma asked hopefully.
Shampoo’s face set in a cute scowl. “No! You is my airen! No give help girl!”
Ranma racked his brain for something, anything. “Can’t we make a deal?”
Shampoo let go, stepped back, and thought a second. “Here is deal. You kill girl type Ranma, and Shampoo let have cure.”
Ranma scratched his head and came up with a solution. “Make that half kill, and you’ve got a deal.”
Shampoo smiled. “Is deal. Shampoo come find airen later.” She leapt off to find a spot to sit and wait.
Ranma made plans and bounded off for the Satan estate.
Ranma arrived at the Satan estate to find toward late evening to find Videl practicing in the back yard. He jumped down into the yard. “Videl?”
She jumped back into a defensive stance. “Who are you? What do you want? I’ll have you know you picked the wrong woman to try to take by force!”
Ranma started at the comment. “I’m not here to attack you. I’m here to help!”
Videl narrowed her gaze at the pigtailed martial artist. “Yeah, right. Why do I need help?”
“You don’t remember me for one thing.” Ranma smirked.
Videl shook her head. “Not good enough.” She tensed up.
Ranma grimaced as he tried to think of the best way to do this. “Well, how about you do me a favor then?”
Videl laughed. “Ha! I bet you would like that! What kind of favor do you want?”
Ranma smiled. “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”
Videl stopped in her tracks. “What?!”
“I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I want you to beat me half to death.” Ranma lowered his guard and stood up straight.
Videl paused. “Okay. You asked for it. Although I hate to hit an unarmed stranger.” She pulled back to punch.
Her punch never connected, as the butler standing behind her stopped her fist. “What are you doing, young miss?”
Videl turned to him in surprise. “This strange guy just asked me to punch him.”
The butler gave her a confused look. “Did you two have a big fight today?”
Videl thought. “No. I’ve never seen him before.”
The butler was truly puzzled. “He’s been living here for several weeks now. I thought you two were an item. I know you cared for him a lot.”
Videl gave him the classic ‘huh?’ face. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s been hit by the Xi Fang Go Shiatsu Technique. She doesn’t remember me.” Ranma piped in.
The butler scratched his head. “I see.” He thought for a moment more. “There are several ways to cure the Xi Fang Go. One is the correct shampoo.”
“Shampoo is the reason we’re in this mess.” Ranma scoffed.
The butler rolled his eyes. “Not the person, the hair care product. The secret to the Xi Fang Go is the combination of herbs in the shampoo and the technique applied.”
Ranma scratched his head. “So I just need to get the shampoo and wash her hair again?”
“You don’t know the proper techniques and pressure points.”
“Do you?”
“My brother might, but I certainly wouldn’t.”
“So where’s your brother?”
“Nerima. He runs a clinic there.”
Ranma’s tensed up at the mention of the district as he remembered his father’s words. “Sorry, not going there in a million years. You mentioned other cures?”
“The other way is to talk about things that would elicit a high emotional response from the victim.”
Ranma thought for a second. “So what can I say?”
Videl put her hands on her hips. “How long are you two going to talk like I’m not here?”
The butler chuckled. “A moment, young miss, and we shall be with you. I promise.” He turned his attention back to Ranma. “Now, Ranma, how about telling her how you really feel?”
Ranma tensed up. “I’m not really sure.”
“You’re here now, aren’t you? You’re trying everything you can for her and you don’t know how you feel?”
Ranma thought it over. He had punched his father into orbit at the mere mention of another woman; he had given up a woman with Shampoo’s looks; now here he was trying to get himself beaten half to death for her. “I guess I care about her.”
The butler smiled a knowing grin. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He turned and walked back to the house.
Ranma turned to see Videl looking at him. She stepped up to him. “Who are you?”
Ranma steeled himself. “I’m Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. This morning you asked me a question. Do you remember what it was?”
Videl shook her head. “No. I don’t remember you at all.”
Ranma put his hands on her shoulders. “This morning you asked me if I loved you.”
A bolt of lightening went through her head. She put a hand up to her temple. “Ungh.” She groaned.
Ranma took this as a good sign. “I asked you if I could stay by your side until I knew the answer. You said, ‘as long as you want’. Do you remember that? You said it twice.”
Another bolt went through her head leaving a trail of throbbing pain. She clenched her teeth. “I…I…”
Ranma steeled himself. Here was probably the toughest thing he’d ever done in his life. Of course he’d only done it once. He tilted her head up. “Do you remember when you said we were fiancés? When we were trying to make Shampoo go away?” Videl shouted in pain. Ranma responded by planting his lips on hers. He broke the kiss and pulled back. “Videl, I…I…l-love you.”
Videl fell to the ground as her head spun. She screamed again and fell to the ground motionless. Ranma turned her over. “Videl? Are you all right?”
She blinked her eyes as if clearing the fog that was surrounding her mind. “R-Ranma?” He nodded and smiled. “Ranma!” She jumped up and hugged him fiercely. She buried her face in his shoulder. “Ranma, I love you too.”
“What going on?” They both started as the Amazon made her presence known.
Ranma untangled himself from Videl and pulled her behind him. “Shampoo, I didn’t think you’d be here till later.”
The Amazon frowned. “Shampoo come to help beat up girl-type Ranma. Find out airen already break Xi Fang Go, and not beat girl-type. Girl is very strong, will take care of though.” She pulled out a shampoo bottle and a comb. “Will have airen for self and village.”
“I don’t think so!” Ranma growled protectively. He kicked the implements out of her hands and sent them flying. “It’s time to end this!” He walked around and found the hose for the house. He poured the water over his head, changing into his cursed form. “See? I’m really a girl. I can’t marry you.” Ranma-Chan spoke softly.
Shampoo’s vision started to blur as she started to cry. “No.” She whispered softly. “NO!” She shouted as she ran and bounded over the wall, crying the whole time.
Ranma-Chan reached out toward the retreating figure. “Shampoo.”
Videl took the outstretched hand and held it. “It’s better this way, Ranma. She’ll go home, and we can go on with our lives.”
Ranma-Chan nodded in agreement, although she still didn’t like it. “Let’s go to bed.”
“Separate beds.” The butlers voice came out of nowhere.
“Spoilsport.” Videl stuck her tongue out toward the house. “You’re right, Ranma, let’s call it a day.”
“VIDEL!!!” roared Mr. Satan’s voice from the house. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?!?!” He came storming out of the house carrying the same newspaper that Ireeza had showed them this morning, showing the couple locked in their kiss.
Videl smiled. Time to do some pretty fast-talking. “Hi, daddy. That’s…uh…a fake. They superimposed us together like that.”
Mr. Satan wasn’t fooled for a moment. “WHY’D THEY BOTHER TO SUPERIMPOSE ME IN MY OWN BACK YARD!!!” Ranma and Videl looked at the picture and realized that the photographer had managed to capture the huge ugly statue of Mr. Satan that adorned his backyard in the background of the shot. A very interesting shot indeed. “I TOLD YOU, YOU COULDN’T DATE ANYONE UNLESS THEY BEAT ME!!! THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE HE COULDN’T GIVE A FLY A WORKOUT!!!”
“HEY!!!” Ranma-Chan shouted. “He could take your flabby butt any day of the week!”
Mr. Satan double-blinked at the newcomer into the conversation. “What do you know about this boy…” He remembered the name Shyapuna had given him. “Saotome Ranma?” Something clicked in his mind. “Hey! Your name is Ranma too! What’s going on?” He thought for a second. “AH IT’S A DISGUISE!!! I’LL TEACH YOU FOR MOLESTING MY LITTLE GIRL!” He thrust his hand forth, grabbed Ranma-Chan’s breast, and pulled.
Ranma-Chan kicked him in the face and put a hand over the freed breast. “THAT HURT YOU PERVERT! NOW I’M GOING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHIN’!!!” Ranma-Chan followed her first kick with a barrage of punches and kicks that quickly set the startled Mr. Satan on his back. “And Ranma’s even tougher than me.”
Videl was shocked. Nobody should be able to do that, even if daddy is caught off guard.
Mr. Satan got back to his feet and laughed. “That was luck! You caught me off guard. The boy Ranma could never defeat me!!!”
Ranma-Chan was beginning to boil over. “Get me some hot water, Videl.” She commanded aside.
Videl looked at him. “Are you sure about this?”
Ranma-Chan narrowed her eyes. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure.”
“What’s the meaning of this?” Mr. Satan asked.
Videl went toward the house, but was met half way from a flying thermos from the butler at the door. “Always keep a spare of both.” He explained briefly. Videl rushed back and gave the thermos to Ranma-Chan.
Ranma-Chan emptied the thermos over her head, returning to his natural form. “I’m Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. I’m the greatest martial artist of my generation.” He dropped into a stance. “And I will defeat you!”
Mr. Satan dropped into his stance. “I’m Mr. Satan three-time world champion. I’m the one that defeated Cell.” He emphasized that last sentence.
Ranma glared at him. “Who cares?”
Mr. Satan was shocked. “You don’t know who Cell is?”
“Should I?”
Mr. Satan brought his stance back. “Doesn’t matter. I’m still the greatest of MY generation.”
“Time to bridge the generation gap. Kiai!” Ranma leapt forward and began to rain punches and kicks down on Mr. Satan.
Mr. Satan backed up from under the onslaught, but held his ground. This is how he had won most of his fights against smaller opponents. He’d let them tire themselves out, and then he’d strike. He grinned. Arrogant boy. I’ll show you.
Ranma picked up on his tactic when Mr. Satan just covered his face and stood there. Think you can outlast me, eh? He jumped over Mr. Satan’s head and landed behind him. He fired off several punches into each kidney and finished off with a blow to the back of one of the older man’s knees.
Mr. Satan found himself falling backwards, yelling in pain. He flailed out his arms, trying to catch himself. Ranma caught one of the flailing arms and twisted it over, causing Mr. Satan to land on his head with his back in an extreme bow. Ranma applied pressure to the arm that shot pain through the older man’s joints. “I could never defeat you, eh?”
“This…fights…ughn!…is…not…over.” Satan tried to stand, causing the arm to twist more.
Ranma rolled his eyes. “I’m going easy on ya for Videl’s sake. Do you want me to really hurt you?”
Satan’s eyes went wide. “I give up!” He beat the ground with his free hand to tap-out.
Ranma released him and walked over to Videl. “See, I’m the strongest martial artist in the world apparently.”
Videl looked up into his blue eyes. “What does that make me?”
Ranma stared into hers. “Your still number two.”
Videl giggled. “I guess that’s better than three.” Their faces closed for a kiss.
Mr. Satan stood to his feet. “HA! You fell for my ‘fake I’m defeated move’! You cannot hope to beat me now.” Ranma turned and glared at him. He took a step back. “But I’ll let you two date anyway.”
Ranma nodded, took Videl’s hand, and walked toward the house. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that his life just got whole lot more interesting.