The morning dawned bright and clear in Satan City, much to the relief of its latest traveler. The brown-haired boy walked down the street mumbling to himself. “I’ll never be a pig again!” He repeated ad nauseum.
“Yo! Ryoga! How goes it?”
The lost boy nearly jumped out of his pants…and Tanuki statue…and large steel plate. He turned to see a certain redhead with a wide smile on her face. “Ranma! How dare you sneak up on me like that?!”
“Just havin’ fun!” Her smile went wider.
Ryoga scratch his head. “What are you doing as a girl?”
Ranma-Chan rolled her eyes. “Some old lady hit me with a ladle of water on the way home. I spotted the Tanuki bobbing over a wall and come over to say hi.” Her gaze dropped to Ryoga’s hand. “What’cha got there?”
“Nothing that concerns you!” He extended his hand as far away from Ranma-Chan as he could. In a blur of red, the paper disappeared from his hand. Ranma-Chan was standing a few feet behind him reading the piece of paper.
“This another one of your stupid maps?”
“Give that back!” He made wild grabs at the map, which the redhead easily avoided.
“Hmmm…” Ranma-Chan studied the map while dodging Ryoga’s blows. The lost boy started herding her toward a nearby canal. “Hey!” She stepped to the side and tripped Ryoga, dropping him into the water. “This is a map to a Japanese Nannichuan!”
A little black pig swore at the redhead from a brown backpack floating in the canal.
“Hey, Ranma, What’s up?” Videl saw him studying a piece of paper closely. “I know you’re not studying anything for school.”
“Hmm…” Ranma-Chan’s brow was furrowed in concentration. “…if this is right, the spring is close…”
Videl shook her head. “Hopeless.” At that moment a sound from the canal caught her attention. “Bacon!”
Ranma-Chan’s head snapped up. “Oh crap.”
Just as the raven-haired girl was about to leap into the canal after the little pig, the redhead shot across the canal and scooped up Ryoga and his pack. She left the tanuki and steel plate where they were.
Videl was angry. “Hey! Come on! Share, you pig!”
Sometime later, back at the Satan estate, Ryoga and Ranma were soaking in one of the furos soaking. The lost boy had just finished recounting the legend behind the Japanese spring of drowned man.
Ranma shook his head. “You’re kidding me. That old man just changed those pain in the butt foxes into pain in the butt humans. What kind of solution is that?”
“Well that’s what the legend says. You don’t think I would make up a story like that.” Ryoga stood and reached for a towel. “I’m off.”
Ranma grabbed his arm. “What’s the hurry? You’ll just get lost anyways. Why don’t you stay here for the night? We can get an early start in the morning.”
“Who’s ‘we’?” Ryoga narrowed his eyes at the pigtailed martial artist.
The pigtailed boy flicked his hair over his shoulder. “Oh, just the man that kept you from being devoured.”
“By your girlfriend!” Ryoga was starting to get mad again.
“Oh, come on, bacon-breath. You don’t think she’d really eat you, do ya?”
“YES!”
“Then why don’t you stay for the night and I’ll make sure you get out of town with all your hams.”
The lost boy threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay! I’ll stay!”
“Great!” Ranma patted him on the back and then grabbed a towel for himself. “We’ll get an early start and hopefully this time tomorrow we’ll be whole men again.”
Ranma and Ryoga dressed and the butler showed Ryoga to one of the spare bedrooms. The lost boy promptly fell asleep. Ranma tiptoed back to the den with the map tucked away in his clothes. He checked to make sure the coast was cleared and then sat in the lotus position on the floor and began to study the map a little closer.
“So THERE you are!”
Videl’s voice sent chill up Ranma’s back. Oh crap. I’ve really done it this time. “Yo, Videl. How goes it?”
The raven-haired girl stormed up to where he was sitting. “Don’t ‘yo Videl’ me! Where is the pig? And don’t you dare tell me you ate him all by yourself!”
Ranma gulped. “No, I, uh…let him go.”
“You WHAT?!?!?!”
“I let him go. He was too small to eat really.” Ranma was trying his best to come up with excuses.
“I don’t care! He would have at least made a good breakfast!”
“So what? Are you gong to kick me out of the house for not killing a little animal?”
Videl stopped and her jaw seemed to unhinge. Some how Ranma had managed to say the right thing at the right time. The girl thought for a second and then plopped down in the floor beside him. “I guess you’re right. It’s not worth fighting about.” She crossed her arms. She was still a little mad though. “But don’t let it happen again.”
Ranma put his hand over his heart. “I promise I won’t take a real pig away from you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” He shoved his nose into the map like most husbands bury their faces in their newspapers to avoid talking to the spousal unit. “Isn’t this interesting…”
Videl rolled her eyes, moved over beside him, and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Okay, so what’s with the map?”
“It’s supposed to be the map to the Japanese Nannichuan. I’ve just got to figure out where it is.”
“Let me see that.” She reached up and tugged a corner of the map over to where she could read it. She thought a second, doing some quick figures in her head. “Hey! This spring is in Nerima!”
Ranma started and looked at her. “What?! How do you know?”
“It’s where Nabiki is from. I did some checking on her hometown. This spring is dead center of the district.”
The pigtailed boy smacked his head. “Just great!” He looked around for a sec. “Where is Nabiki anyway? I haven’t seen her all day.”
Videl tried to look nonchalant. “Oh, she was just going to see about returning some bad Chinese we got the other day.”
Ranma, not being the brightest soul around, let it go at that. “Okay, so I guess Ryoga and me are heading to Nerima in the morning.”
“A-HEM. Don’t you mean you, Ryoga, and me?” She asked the question in a tone a voice that indicated that he didn’t have much choice in the matter. Her face also showed there was not going to be any argument about it.
“Heh, heh. Uh, yeah! That’s what I meant! You, me, and Ryoga!”
“Watch yourself mister, or I’ll have to kick your butt.” She poked at him playfully.
Ranma smirked at her. “I’d like to see that.”
“I’ll catch up to you one of these days.” She looked up at the clock. “Well, if we’re going to get an early start, we had better get to bed.” She pointed over her shoulder. “What’s that?”
The pigtailed martial artist turned to look over her shoulder, leaving his face turned to hers. “Where?”
She quickly grabbed his head and planted a kiss on his lips. “Good night!” She stood and walked to her room. Ranma just sat there wide-eyed for a few seconds, and then fell over on his face.
The next morning, they all loaded into Videl’s jet copter. Ranma tied Ryoga and his stuff to the tail. “Hey! Why do I have to ride like this?!” The lost boy complained.
Ranma shook his head. “I told you a hundred times! There’s not enough room in the cockpit, and she’s my girlfriend, so I get up front.” He turned and hopped into the cockpit with Videl.
She turned to look at him. “We could take a bigger copter you know.”
“He doesn’t know that.” Ranma smirked and pointed forward. “Let’s go!”
They took off and made their way to the Nerima district of Tokyo. Videl flew around until she found a nice vacant lot to land in. They walked through the district following the map to the Japanese Nannichuan. Ranma had to keep pointing Ryoga in the correct direction. Videl just shook her head and wondered how one man could have such a poor sense of direction. A little bit after noon they came to Furinkan High School.
Ranma lifted an eyebrow. “I wonder if I would have ended up going here if I hadn’t met you Vichan.”
His girlfriend looked around. “Probably, but what would you have done for a girlfriend?”
The pigtailed boy chuckled. “I’m sure I would have had plenty of fiancés to keep me company, knowing pops.” They both shared a laugh.
“Hey!” Ryoga shouted. “Are we going to find that spring or aren’t we?”
Ranma nodded. “Okay! Okay!” He looked down at the map. “It looks like we need to go to the far side of the school for the marker.”
They walked around and there under a tree was a statue of a fox. Ranma bent down and read the kanji on the front. “It says here that the spring is only one hundred steps in that direction.” He indicated with a extended finger.
“Thanks, sucker!” Ryoga threw a bandanna at Ranma and took off in the direction.
Ranma deflected the cloth with his bracer and charged after the lost boy. “HEY! GET BACK HERE!”
The pair of martial artists charged forward toward their cure. Ranma weaved in and out of the trees while Ryoga just barreled through them. Whenever they’d close on one another, they’d throw punches and kicks at one another. Videl just cradled her head in her hand and shook it. She’d never figure out those two.
Just as they were counting down the last steps, both of their danger senses went off. They jumped at the last minute before tons of gymnasium equipment started falling from trees. They both looked down and realized where the trail led.
"It's under the girl's locker room”, Ryoga hissed.
Ranma thought, I don't care if it's under the imperial palace. Ain't nothing going to keep from getting to that spring!
They both watch as a group of girls came up to inspect their handiwork. After finding their trap empty they stormed on. Ranma and Ryoga quietly made their way back to Videl.
Once they reached the tree where she was waiting, Ryoga turned to Ranma. “So what do we do now?”
The pigtailed martial artist smirked. “We go in the front of course.”
A couple minutes later, Ranma-Chan was dressed in girl’s gym clothes. She adjusted her shirt a bit. “So what do ya think?”
Ryoga was stupefied. “You’re REALLY going to do it, aren’t you?”
“You bet. Nothing’s coming between me and that spring!”
Videl shook her head. “You know, Ranma, I could go in there with less trouble.”
“Naw! You’re famous. Someone would recognize you in a heartbeat. I’ve got to do it.” In her mind, she couldn’t allow her girlfriend to show her up. She made some last minute adjustments. “Okay, I’m off!”
She strode confidently toward the locker rooms. All of the sudden she felt a huge amount of ki. The power was enormous. She couldn’t believe the amount she felt. She was frozen in place like a block of ice. She stood there, rooted in place, until finally a taller boy with jet-black spiky hair wearing blue pants and a white shirt walked around the corner. It’s HIM! He’s generating all that Ki. Although Ranma-Chan would never admit to being scared, she was close to soiling herself.
The boy walked up and smiled. “Where are you going?”
He knows! Ranma began to panic. Hold on! He can’t know. No one’s ever seen you around here. Just breathe and calm the HELL DOWN! She took two deep breaths and in her best cute voice, she said, “I’m just a lost little girl.” She flashed him her big puppy dog eyes. “Can you point me towards the girl’s locker room?”
“Sure.” The boy turned and pointed in the direction where Ranma-Chan was headed.
“Thanks.” Sucker. Ranma-Chan smirked and continued on her way. She calmly made her way to the door and opened it up. “Don’t mind me girls, I just…”
SPLASH!
There he stood, Saotome Ranma, man amongst men in all his glory, in the middle of the girl’s locker room in woman’s gym clothes, fully male.
“PERVERT!” Began to be chanted over and over again.
Ranma’s eyes got wide. He decided that the Saotome secret attack was called for. He turned and bolted faster than a greased cheetah.
In short order, Ranma lost the mob of murderous girls and changed back into his usual attire. He started beating on the nearest tree to vent his frustrations. The tree snapped in half after one punch. “Oops. I’ve gotten stronger than I thought. I’m going to have to watch that.” He chuckled to himself. For the second time that day he felt the enormous ki source. “Time to go!” He turned and ran again.
A short time later, Videl was once again shaking her head at her boyfriend’s antics. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go in for you?”
Ranma shook his head. “Naw, it’s just time for plan B. Could you wait over there?” He pointed toward the other side of the building.
She gave him a confused look. “Okay. Whatever you say.” She walked off and out of sight.
The pigtailed martial artist immediately turned and doused Ryoga. The pig started squealing in protest. “Now you listen to me, Bacon. You’re going in there to steal some panties. Keep those girls busy so I can find the spring.” He hauled back and threw the porcine projectile through an open window. He just sat back and decided to wait until the screams began.
After about a minute passed, Ranma got impatient. He jumped up and peeked into the room. Inside Ryouga-pig was being held in the breasts of a girl with short, blue-black hair. She had nothing on top, but her bra. The pig looked like it had passed out from blood loss. “DAMMIT!”
The pigtailed boy ran into the locker room and grabbed the pig out of the girl’s hands. He held the little porker at eye level. “Dammit pig, can’t you do anything right?”
The girl with the pageboy haircut started yelling at him. Ranma finally grasped the danger of his current situation as all the girls started crying pervert and started producing various blunt objects. He fled the room, dropping the pig in meantime.
Videl watched as Ranma fled from the premises and shook her head. He’ll learn one of these days. She continued to watch as a throng of girls with blunt instruments followed him out. Maybe sooner than I thought.
After a minute or so another girl came out carrying a small black pig. Videl smirked. “Look like this trip won’t be a total waste.” She strode up to the girl and pointed to the pig. “You going to eat that?”
The girl looked at her with a confused glance. “No! What do you think this is?”
“Bacon, duh!” What kind of idiot is this girl?
At that moment, Ranma was just finishing his first lap around the gym and saw Videl and the other girl arguing over the pig. Ah man! Guess I have to save Ryoga’s bacon…literally. He turned and made a b-line for the girls. He passed right between them, deftly stealing the pig from the loud chick.
“Hey that’s the pervert!” The girl with the pageboy cut shouted.
“That’s my boyfriend, not a pervert!” Videl looked indignant.
The other put her hands on her hips and scowled. “Then what was he doing trying to break into our locker room?”
The forecast was looking a bit stormy when a boy with spiky hair wearing the Furinkan uniform interrupted the two girls. “What happened?”
“It was that pervert again!”
“He’s not a pervert!” Videl reminded the increasing annoying little girl.
“I’ll handle it.” With that the boy turned and ran in the direction Ranma retreated.
Ranma shook his head in frustration. This should NOT being taking this long! What the hell is wrong with this place? He rolled his eyes as he made his way back to where he hid Ryoga. He had to stow the pig somewhere so he wouldn’t get lost and where Videl couldn’t find him. I know it’s dishonorable to tell an enemy’s weakness, but I’ve got to tell her about Ryoga’s curse. Otherwise she’ll skin me alive for stealing her breakfast.
He looked down at the two containers of liquid he was carrying. In one hand was hot tea for Ryoga to transform, and in the other was some cool water for him. All this madness was making him thirsty.
Just as he was about to take a long drink of water, someone slammed into his back. He fell forward and the water transformed him back into her cursed form. She was a little pissed, but she turned and saw that boy again. The power seemed to flood into her senses. She didn’t know how she had missed it.
The boy carefully helped her up. “I’m sorry, but I was looking for a pervert and wasn’t paying attention where I was going.”
“What do you mean pervert?” Ranma-Chan got defensive.
The boy held up his hands trying to calm the volatile redhead. “Some guy tried to break in and steal the girls’ underwear!”
“I di-…uh, I’m sure it was just a mistake.” Ranma-Chan tried to recover.
“Well, I’ve got to get to the bottom of this. I’m sure I’ll find the truth one way or another.” He turned and ran off.
“Who does that idiot think he is?”
Ranma-Chan finally made her way back to Ryoga. She let Ryoga transform back with the tea she had. She decided to just stay female because she figured she would just be hit by water again. Ryoga, however, was still in a stupor. Ranma-Chan shook her head and slapped the lost boy over the head. “Come on, snap out of it!”
The lost boy didn’t even notice. “They, uh…she was so nice…”
“Come on! What’s more important? The spring or some chick in the locker room?” The pigtailed martial artist was getting ticked.
Ryoga’s face screwed in anger. “She’s not a chick! That’s Akane!”
“I don’t care who she is! She’s an obstacle we need to get past to get to the spring! She was a macho tomboy anyway!”
“You take that back!”
One of their usual scuffles broke out. The redhead and lost boy poured their all into it. Ryoga was fighting because Ranma had insulted the girl, and Ranma, because this whole trip was turning into a circus. After a while, Ranma-Chan tripped and Ryoga prepared to deliver the deathblow.
Just as things were getting interesting, the boy from early shot through and shoulder rammed Ryoga against the school wall. He turned and offered his hand to help the girl up. “Are you okay?”
”I’m fine.” Ranma-Chan slapped the hand away and walked off. Videl’s got to be around here by now.
Videl was waiting for her around the corner of the gym with a kettle. “Why don’t you just let me handle it?”
Ranma threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine!”
His girlfriend smiled and patted him on the head. “Don’t worry, I’ll still think you’re a man after this.” She pecked him on the cheek and got a harrumph as a reply. She took it in stride and made her way to the locker room. She strode in and took a look around. “Now, if I were a spring of drowned boy, where would I be?”
“SWEETO!”
Videl felt a new growth on her breasts. She knew she hadn’t suddenly developed breast cancer. She looked down and saw a shriveled up midget glomping her bosom.
“Hello, cutie!” The micro pervert smiled up at her.
Videl let out a blood-curdling scream that quickly brought Ranma in to the rescue. He saw the old man fondling his girlfriend. He reached out and yanked the perv off her chest. “What are you doing, you freak?”
At that moment, the same girl from before, Akane, strode in. “I knew it! You’re working with Happosai!” She yelled.
“Who?” The teenaged couple replied.
Akane stepped forward and smirked at Videl. “See, I told you he’s a pervert!”
“He’s never seen him before!” Videl shouted back.
A huge catfight erupted in the locker room. Ranma decided to git while the gitting is good.
Outside, behind the gym, Ranma held the little pervert at eye level. “What the hell were you doing to my girlfriend?”
“Don’t bother me, sonny.” With a twirl of his pipe, he tossed the boy against the gym wall. Believing him finished, he started to stride off.
“Where you going?” Ranma rushed forward and nailed the shriveled old man, sending him flying into a wall. Cracks spiraled out from the impact.
The old man shook himself to clear his vision. “Not bad, boy. What’s your name, so I can get the tombstone right.”
“Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.” Ranma answered proudly as he dropped into a stance.
The old man smirked. “So, YOU’RE Genma’s boy. I’ve been waiting to meet you.”
The pigtailed boy took a step back. “Who are you?”
“I’m Happosai. Grandmaster and creator of the school of Anything Goes Martial Arts! I am you’re master!”
“Master this!” Ranma charged forward with his fist extended, intending to introduce the old man to the ground.
The shriveled pervert agilely jumped over the punch, onto Ranma’s head, and over to his backside. He turned and struck the boy with his pipe again, knocking him to the ground. Ranma stood up and wiped the dust from his eyes. He strode forward and the scene began to repeat itself.
The fight went on, much to Ranma’s embarrassment. At one point the old man finally had him over a barrel. The boy was flat on his back with the little pervert standing on his chest. “And here I had such hope in you, boy. I thought Genma would have done something right for once.”
“Right THIS!” Videl kicked Happosai like a teed up football, sending him into the locker room wall.
Ranma quickly stood up and charged in for the kill. Just as he was about to administer the final goodnight, Ryoga blindsided him with a punch to the back. “PREPARE TO DIE RANMA!!!”
The old man was just recovering when he was impacting by a pigtailed projectile. The two smashed through the wall and into the locker room. Ryoga charged in to join the fun.
Ranma was stuck trying to defend himself from two directions at once. Well, at least the girls are gone. He quickly got his second wind and renewed his efforts to pound the midget pervert and the lost boy.
The fight carried on until Ryoga went for an overhead hammer blow. Ranma swiftly dodged. The lost boy’s strike went through the floor. The room shook briefly. “What the?” was all anyone got out before a huge plume of water came from the floor and propelled them into the air.
A few minutes later found a soaked Ranma-Chan and Ryoga-pig sitting in a tree. She picked up the pig and glared at it. “If that was a spring of drowned man, then why ain’t I a guy!” She dropkicked the pig into LEO. “Next time I’ll let Videl eat you!”
The redhead dropped out of the tree and started wringing her shirt out. Videl walked up looking like she just came from wrestling a big cat. Ranma told her everything that had happened since he left her.
She heaved a weary sigh and shook her head. “Let’s go home. I don’t like this place.”
“Me neither.” Ranma-Chan agreed.