All Mixed Up

Chapter Six

 

 

 

            Gohan rubbed his forehead as he took a surreptitious glance across the classroom at Akane. He was glad she was handling the aftermath of what was now called ‘the Sentaro Incident’. Gohan sighed as he turned his attention back to the teacher. ‘I didn’t really mean to demolish half the place, but I was worried about Akane… I should have known she’d be able to handle herself.’

 

            Gohan tried to follow the class on mathematics, but his tutors had done a thorough job on that part of his education and he was well beyond the rest of the class. He let his thoughts return to Akane as a warm feeling spread through him.

 

 

 

            A fair distance away from the school was a somewhat obese man in a white gi was walking down the street, grumbling. “That no good son of mine. I’ll make him live up to his responsibilities even if it’s the last thing I ever do.” An ominous thunderclap echoed through the city, but the man ignored it. “The Saotome and Tendo schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts WILL be united!”

 

            Genma had to backtrack a few times, but he eventually found his goal, the Tendo Dojo. A rather attractive young lady answered his knocking. Genma smirked to himself. ‘If the other daughters are anywhere near as pretty as her, Ranma will beg me to enforce the engagement.’

 

            “May I help you?” The young lady had very pleasant voice.

 

            Genma nodded. “Why yes, I’m looking for my old friend Soun.”

 

            The young lady’s smile brightened some. “Oh! That’s wonderful. Father will be so glad to have a friend come by. My name is Kasumi.”

 

            Genma bowed and with a rakish, in his opinion, smile, he commented that Kasumi will make a beautiful wife some day. Kasumi just blushed in response and showed him towards the dojo before returning to her house-cleaning duties.

 

            Genma watched Soun as he went through a basic kata. ‘Hmmm, he seems to have slacked off since we last met. Well, raising three girls by himself couldn’t have been easy,’ Genma thought to himself in a rare moment of humanity. An evil grin crossed his face as he crept up behind him.

 

            Soun let out a terrified scream when Saotome Genma suddenly seemed to materialize in front of him. The overweight man looked at his friend in surprise and confusion as he backed away, making warding signs with his hands.

 

            “Tendo, what is wrong with you?”

 

            “S-S-Saotome? Am I dead? Please, my baby girls need me!”

 

            Genma blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about, Tendo? Of course you’re not dead.”

 

            Soun seemed to calm down some. “If I’m not dead, then you must be a ghost?”

 

            “Why is that?” Genma was extremely confused and slightly irritated.

 

            “Because you’re dead!”

 

            “Uh, no I’m not.”

 

            “But your son said you were dead!”

 

            “You’ve talked with him?” Genma was surprised and a little worried. ‘Or maybe the boy came to his senses.’

 

            “Yes, he and Akane and Nabiki are at school right now.”

 

            “Ranma’s going to school?”

 

            “Who’s Ranma?”

 

            Genma blinked. “He’s my son.”

 

            Soun scratched the back of his head. “But he said his name was Gohan.”

 

            “Why would the boy lie about his name?” ‘And how did he beat me here?’

 

            “Well, he was rather shaken up about your death.”

 

            “Why do you keep saying I’m dead, Tendo?”

 

            “Well, he’s never lied to me before and he said you were dead, so you must be a ghost.”

 

            “Tendo, I’m standing right in front of you.”

 

            “I’ve heard that some ghosts don’t realize that they are ghosts.”

 

            Genma walked over to the shogi board and began moving pieces around. “Can a ghost play shogi?”

 

            Soun thought it over. “No, but then neither could you, at least not without cheating.”

 

            “TENDO!”

 

            Soun burst into tears. “I’m sorry, old friend. I know I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”

 

            “I’M NOT DEAD!”

 

            “Can you prove it?”

 

            Genma slapped him. “Can ghosts hit people?”

 

            “No, but zombies can.”

 

            “Zombies smell real bad, Tendo.”

 

            Soun made a waving motion in front of his nose. “I know, Zombie Saotome.”

 

            “I just need a bath, Tendo! I am NOT a zombie!”

 

            Soun patted his friend on the shoulder. “There there, friend, I know being dead can be a very trying experience.”

 

            Genma finally grabbed one of the weapons off of the wall and before he could think better about it, he cut himself on the hand. Soun watched as blood dripped onto the dojo floor. “THERE! Now do you believe me?!”

 

            Soun broke into tears as he hugged his old friend. “You’re alive! Everyone knows that the dead can’t bleed!”

 

            Genma felt relief over having finally gotten through to his friend. “Well, except for vampires,” he said jokingly.

 

            Soun instantly froze. “You’re a vampire, old friend?”

            Genma screamed in frustration.

 

 

 

            It took a while, but Genma finally managed to calm his friend, convince him he was not the undead, and start getting somewhere about his son.

 

            “How long has he been here?”

 

            Soun thought it over. “He’s been here for over a week.”

 

            Genma mulled that one over. ‘That’s impossible. I know Ranma has been in Satan City during that time.’ “What does he look like?”

 

            Soun looked at his friend. “Do you not recognize your own son?”

 

            Genma frowned. “My son has been in Satan City for a while. There’s no way he could be here as well.”

 

            Soun blinked in shock. “But he’s been living here with us!”

 

            “So describe him.”

 

            “Oh, a tall boy. Kinda spikey black hair, powerful build, and an incredible martial artist. He’s very powerful, and yet very kind and well mannered.”

 

            Genma nodded his head. ‘I’m sure of it now. That is NOT my son. Well mannered indeed.’ ”Tendo, this Gohan is not my son.”

 

            Soun felt an icy chill run through him. ‘I am a dead man.’ “Are you sure?”

 

            Genma nodded. “My son’s hair is not spikey.”

 

            Soun began to tremble. ‘She’s going to hurt me very badly.’ “What am I going to do? I’ve already engaged him to one of my daughters.”

 

            Genma shrugged. “Break it off. He has no real claim.”

 

            Soun shook his head violently. “Two of my daughters seem to be interested in him, especially Akane. I couldn’t break her heart like that. She might break something of mine in return.”

 

            Genma raised an eyebrow at that.

 

            “She has a bit of a temper.”

 

            Genma nodded sagely. “Well, you still have two other daughters. I’ve met Kasumi. Who’s the other one?”

 

            “Ah, that would be Nabiki.”

 

            “Well, what we need to do is-“

 

            “Let me do the thinking.” Soun and Genma turned towards the door and saw Nabiki standing there. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I’ll volunteer to take over the engagement.”

 

            Soun blinked in surprise. “Are you sure, Nabiki?”

 

            ‘Not really, but I’ve got the best chance of breaking off the engagement if this Ranma’s as bad as what I’ve heard. If he’s not and he’s easy enough to manipulate, then being engaged to him won’t be too bad.’ “Sure. So, where is the wonder stud?”

 

            Genma smirked. “A take charge kind of girl, just what Ranma needs. I agree to your engagement. As for Ranma, there’s been a complication and he had to stay in Satan City for a while.”

 

            Nabiki smirked to herself but kept a neutral expression on her face. ‘Complication? Like a girlfriend, perhaps?’ “Well then, why don’t we go to Satan City and see if I can help out?”

 

            Genma sweatdropped. “Well, I think it would be best if I stay here and work on the wedding arrangements with Soun. Why don’t you go by yourself?” ‘Besides, the boy’s less likely to hurt me if I’m not present. And she IS quite the looker… definitely a good matchup.’

 

            Nabiki looked at her father. “I’ll arrange for me to be excused from school for a while. Don’t tell anyone the real reason I’m going, I want it to be a surprise. Oh, and daddy, you don’t need to plan my wedding just yet. As a matter of fact, I should be VERY put out if it was done in my absence, so please wait until I return.”

 

            Soun gulped and nodded. “Of course, Nabiki. I wouldn’t dream of it.” Akane might intimidate Soun physically, but his middle daughter terrified him with her ruthlessness when she was displeased with someone. He had seen it happen to some of the neighbors and he never wanted to be the target of her fury. He wouldn’t have been as worried if he realized that neither daughter would ever consider doing anything like that to their father. He watched Nabiki walk upstairs to her room to begin packing and planning.

 

            While she was up there, Genma turned to Soun. “I need a place to stay, old friend.”

 

            Soun scratched his head. “It would be great to have you here, Saotome, but won’t the others get suspicious?”

 

            “Suspicious of what, Tendo?”

 

            “Well, Akane thinks she has been engaged to Gohan. It would make her very angry to find out that it was all a mistake, and I would dearly love to keep my daughters happy.”

 

            Genma smirked. “Well, I have just the solution. I picked something up in China that will help us out.” Genma pulled out a canteen and splashed the water over his head

 

            Soun blinked in surprise at the giant panda that was now sitting across from him. Especially since the panda held up a sign that said, #I’m you’re cute pet panda.#

 

            “How did I get you?”

 

            The sign flipped around. #A gift from a friend.#

 

            Soun laughed and slapped the panda on the shoulder. “Genma, old friend, or should I say ‘Mr. Panda’? You are a genius!”

 

            #I know, Tendo, I know.#

 

            “Do you still play shogi?”

 

            #Thought you’d never ask.#

 

 

 

            Gohan and Akane were in the dojo practicing. Though he was distracted by Nabiki’s declared intentions of taking a field trip out of town, he managed to notice that Akane had a touch more grace and skill than he did, but that she lacked brute physical power, at least compared to most of the fighters he knew. He also noticed that Mr. Tendo’s new pet Panda was watching him in a very intense fashion. The intensity magnified when Gohan brought up ki training to Akane.

 

            “Uhm, I think we should close the dojo door, Akane,” he commented while watching Mr. Panda.

 

            Akane was a little confused. A sudden thought ran through her head. ‘Does he want to be alone with me where no one can see?’ A strange thrill ran through her. “Why?”

 

            ‘She might think I was crazy if I told her that Mr. Panda made me nervous.’ “I just thought it might be better to practice in privacy.”

 

            Akane blushed and moved to close the door, much to a certain panda’s irritation. Just before the door closed, the shrine in the dojo made a strange noise and fell to the ground. Gohan and Akane stared at it in surprise. Their surprise doubled when the door suddenly fell off its hinges and landed on the ground.

 

            Neither of them noticed that the panda had begun to sweat massively. They did notice the ominous clouds that were forming overhead and Gohan quickly moved to replace the door while Akane cleaned up the shrine.

 

            When they were done, Gohan had Akane sit in the middle of the shrine like she had for the past few days. “Okay, we’re going to continue the ki sensing workout. Close your eyes and try and track my movements.”

 

            Akane closed her eyes and focused. When she was ready, she pointed her finger at him while keeping her eyes closed. Gohan moved carefully around the dojo, feeling a bit of pride as Akane managed to keep pointing at him. It wasn’t until he accidentally kicked a small piece of the shrine across the room that he began to suspect that maybe she wasn’t doing as well as he thought. As the piece skittered across the room, her finger started to track it for a moment before returning to pointing in his direction. He frowned a little and decided to take the difficulty up a notch.

 

            Gohan slowly lifted just a little into the air, doing his best to keep his aura as far down as possible. He floated off to the side some and noticed that Akane’s finger wavered back and forth from where he had been to where he was now. ‘She’s using her hearing to help her find me, but that’s taking away from her ki sensitivity. Well, I’ll just have to play a trick on her then.’ Suddenly Gohan cranked on his hyperspeed, leaving after images of himself in four different locations. Akane nearly sprained her arm trying to point everywhere at once. Smirking, Gohan settled onto the floor just as Akane opened her eyes.

 

            “What was that?” She blurted out in a confused manner.

 

            “A trick to see whether you were doing what I told you.” He didn’t say it, but Akane picked up on the subtle accusation anyways.

 

            “I’m sorry. It’s just so difficult to practice for only a short time each day. It feels like it’s taking forever.”

 

            Gohan smiled at her, sending a happy thrill through her. “Then practice it whenever you can.”

 

            “How?”

 

            “Well, when we’re at school, try keeping track of where Kuno is. He’s got enough of a signature that you should be able to follow him, and it will also keep him from launching any surprise attacks on you.”

 

            Akane thought it over and nodded, smiling. The smile just seemed to light up the whole room for him.

 

            “Now, let’s get back to training. Remember, don’t rely on your eyes.”

 

            “Okay.”

 

 

 

            Genma-panda had gone inside to ‘talk’ to Soun, informing him of what he had seen.

 

            “So the boy knows ki techniques? He will make an excellent addition to the school, then,” Soun commented.

 

            Genma nodded. #The omens worry me.#

 

            “What do you mean, Saotome?”

 

            #Alter go smack, demon come back.#

 

            Soun started to eat some rice from a bowl when the dish broke in two. #Rice bowl go crack, demon attacks.#

 

            Soun gulped as he paled. “D-D-Don’t even joke about that. After all, we will never hear that phrase again.”

 

            “SWEETO!”

 

            Soun felt tears forming in his eyes. “Don’t say that Saotome!”

 

            The panda held up a sign. #How COULD I say that?#

 

            The two friends turned towards the source of the cry in terror. A small, gnome-like man in a gi was standing on top of the yard wall.

 

            “M-M-Master?”

 

 

 

            Gohan and Akane paused as they heard strange sounds coming from outside. Akane opened the door and froze in shock. “Daddy?”

 

            Soun and the panda were prostrating themselves on the ground before a small creature wearing a purple gi. The gnome was smoking a pipe and berating Soun, which instantly caused Akane’s temper to flare. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!” She started stalking towards the creature when suddenly she felt her chest grow heavy.

 

            Looking down she saw a small man nuzzling her chest, his hands pawing at her breasts as he cried out, “SWEETO!”

 

            Akane was too paralyzed with shock to move, but Gohan wasn’t. He had been around Master Roshi long enough to know exactly what needed to be done to perverted old martial artists. Running up next to Akane, he reached out to grab the midget, but at the last second the pervert just vanished. Gohan was too busy tracking where his target went to notice that his hand was resting Akane’s breast and squeezing slightly.

 

            Akane’s ear-piercing shriek brought his attention around. His shock at seeing where his hand was and what it was doing was enough for him to completely drop his guard. The mallet that slammed into his head still broke in two, but this time he found himself plastered into the ground, the angry cry of “PERVERT!” ringing in his ears.

 

            Akane stared in shock at Gohan’s prostrate form. Her reaction to the old man’s glomp had been delayed seriously until Gohan unintentionally set it off. She hadn’t really meant to hit her fiancé, though in retrospect he HAD grabbed her breast. She was about to try and help Gohan up when the old pervert reappeared on her chest and got in a good fondle.

 

            Gohan’s temper flared as he saw the position that the pervert had returned to. “Get away from her!” He yelled as he tried to punch him, carefully avoiding any chance of hitting Akane this time. Once again, the strange man seemed to vanish.

 

            “You’re too slow, sonny-boy,” the old man commented as he took a drag from his pipe.

 

            “I’ll show you slow!” Gohan concentrated for a moment and his aura flared into life. The old man’s only reaction was a slight raising of his eyebrow. Gohan dashed forward, moving faster than Genma or Soun could follow. The only thing they did see was their Master make a flipping motion with the pipe and suddenly a large crater appeared in the wall. As the dust cloud started to settle, Gohan came flying out of it, heading straight for his opponent. He blurred out of view, but once again the old pervert made a flipping motion and Gohan found himself embedded in another part of the wall. As he pulled himself out of it this time, he saw that the creature had glomped onto Akane again.

 

            Gohan stared at the shrunken gnome in absolute fury. It was bad enough that he hadn’t managed to land a hit on the little pervert, but the fact that he kept stopping to grope Akane was seriously aggravating his Saiya-Jin temper. When he saw Akane’s bra dangling from the man’s hand, it was the last straw. Tiny arcs of lightning began flowing around parts of his body as a few random strands of hair flashed yellow for just a split second before returning to black.

 

            The gnome began bouncing around the yard, taunting Gohan. The young warrior pretended to take the bait, but he began to carefully plan his attack. When the old pervert made another leap towards Akane, Gohan made his move. Dropping his hands to his side, he growled, “KAME…”

 

            Everything seemed to shift into slow motion. A ball of blue energy formed between Gohan’s hands. Akane’s eyes narrowed with the angry anticipation of being groped. The panda’s and Soun’s eyes went wide as they witnessed the ki attack forming.

 

            “HAME…”

 

            The perverted Master glanced backwards to see an extremely angry Gohan powering up an attack that was considered almost legendary. The ball of energy had swollen to the size of a beach ball.

 

            “HA!” Gohan thrust his hands towards the airborne pervert. His target could not dodge, deflect, or absorb the energy beam that slammed into him, propelling him painfully into the distance.

 

            Gohan stood there, his chest heaving in anger as he watched the disappearing speck that was his opponent. He was brought back to reality by the sudden prostration of Mr. Panda and Soun at his feet.

 

            #You beat the Master!#

 

            “How can we ever repay you?”

 

            #Where did you learn the legendary Kamehameha?#

 

            “My daughter is yours!”

 

            “DADDY!” Akane glared at her father. ‘How dare he treat me like a reward?!’ Her anger flared up as did her aura.

 

            Gohan ignored the two men and stared at Akane. ‘Wow. That’s not bad. She needs to learn to focus better, but I think she’s got a lot more potential than I originally figured.’ “Are you all right, Akane?”

 

            Akane looked over at him and felt some of her anger vanish along with her aura. “I’m fine, I just think I need a long, hot bath.” She gave him an odd look for a moment before heading into the house.

 

            As she turned to walk away, Gohan ran to walk beside her. “Uhm… about what just happened… I hope you’re not… scared.”

 

            Akane froze in place. As she turned towards him, the look she wore could have melted a tank. “I am NOT scared of that little pervert.”

 

            Gohan blinked. “No, not him… I meant… me. I don’t like showing off what I can do because it scares a lot of people.”

 

            Akane looked at him funny before smiling a little. “Gohan, I don’t think I could ever be scared of you.”

 

            Gohan blushed and stuttered something before walking off, rubbing the back of his head as he did so. For the first time she could remember, Akane let her eyes drift over his body in appreciation, especially paying attention to his butt. ‘And he’s mine, girls, so back off.’

 

            A few hours later, Gohan was still lying awake in his room, staring at the ceiling. A random thought jumped into his mind and he blinked. “That is one smart panda.”